"No. It's better. I read only books for a solid few years." On a literal sense. It's a time he doesn't like to recall often. He went into two deep depressive episodes where reading was all that could be a relief. First, when Claudia left. Second, the rise of his hate for heights. All he did was read to escape whatever reality he knew he had to face eventually. Strangely, it made him love reading more, to be able to discover worlds beyond his own. To find multiple perspective on histories, to learn different pieces of other's viewpoints. It was both a terrible and wonderful time in segments. Everything he loves taints eventually,. Down in the pit where all they have is darkness, he might be able to admit it.

"Then I don't know if I belong in Solvunn. But now I hope to see it again." The thing is, he may think this, but he won't ever admit that his had held unshakeable faith in his immortal companions when he shouldn't. He'll go at lengths to keep together what he knows will crumble just because he's poured that faith into people who didn't understand it at face value; he loves with thorns always out. He'd do it all over again. Did belief have to live in a god? There's the broken belief in people too.

Louis stares at Istredd for a moment too long, a flicker of a gloss in his eyes. He wants to believe him. Istredd confesses and Louis continues to stay in silence. It's not awkward on his end, only that he understands on a level. There's something about families formed that can both provide love and also end up hurting the most, all of which is clamoring into the succumbing like nectar. His mouth is parched, and his voice sounds raspy with remorse he can't hide. It makes the lesions on his wrist dig into his skin until he's slightly bleeding from a new one forming, but he won't notice it.

"I'm hearing my Claudia, my immortal companion. The daughter I wronged."