Kell smiles, a faint, crooked smile. It's good that they know. They should be able to succeed where he failed.
"Yeah, any doctor will be better than me."
The almost-not-a-smile turns to genuine surprise when Lucifer comes and hugs him. Neither of them is ever going to admit what it is, but their unwillingness doesn't make it less of a hug. Doesn't make the impact of that gesture less monumental. Lucifer might deny calling it what it is, but he means what he does. Lucifer might bristle and protest at anyone suggesting he cares, but then does things that show that he does. Like this hug. Few people ever done this for Kell. Certainly not his adopted parents. Oh, his adopted mother always made a good show of her fake affection. There were many embraces, kisses on the cheek, all of them superficial. All of them to keep up an image of good mother. She never meant any of this. She only cared about her real son, not the stray they picked up because he was useful for the crown, and could protect her precious offspring from harm.
This is different. This is real, and Kell finds himself at a loss how to react. When Lucifer starts to move away, he almost asks him to stop, to stay. Almost. He can't find the words for it. He never had a chance to ask for such things, doesn't even know how. It does leave him steadier, almost collected, not close to collapsing. The coat, the berries, the hug, all of this helped.
Then Kyle mentions Rhy and all colour drains from Kell's face. For a fleeting moment, both of them, Kyle and Lucifer, can see the raw pain, sharp like a knife's edge, bleeding out, then Kell closes his eyes and utters a single word.
"Yes."
They have made this decision together. Kell knew well what this would mean, and still insisted that Rhy do what he believed was right. What they both believed was right. What he still believes is. Nothing about it makes him feel better. Nothing makes him feel less abandoned, now when it's not Rhy coming to his rescue. That, eventually, there's always something more important than him. People, duty, a kingdom. There's always something. It doesn't help that he knows those thoughts, those feelings, are wrong. He can't stop himself from having them. He had personally, intentionally, agreed to that. He too thought, thinks still, it's important.
Kell takes a deep breath. Yes. Important things. He forces his eyes open, forces them to focus first on Lucifer, then Kyle and nods.
"I should probably show you the way to the camp."
If he can find it. He was just a little lost when he met them.
no subject
"Yeah, any doctor will be better than me."
The almost-not-a-smile turns to genuine surprise when Lucifer comes and hugs him. Neither of them is ever going to admit what it is, but their unwillingness doesn't make it less of a hug. Doesn't make the impact of that gesture less monumental. Lucifer might deny calling it what it is, but he means what he does. Lucifer might bristle and protest at anyone suggesting he cares, but then does things that show that he does. Like this hug. Few people ever done this for Kell. Certainly not his adopted parents. Oh, his adopted mother always made a good show of her fake affection. There were many embraces, kisses on the cheek, all of them superficial. All of them to keep up an image of good mother. She never meant any of this. She only cared about her real son, not the stray they picked up because he was useful for the crown, and could protect her precious offspring from harm.
This is different. This is real, and Kell finds himself at a loss how to react. When Lucifer starts to move away, he almost asks him to stop, to stay. Almost. He can't find the words for it. He never had a chance to ask for such things, doesn't even know how. It does leave him steadier, almost collected, not close to collapsing. The coat, the berries, the hug, all of this helped.
Then Kyle mentions Rhy and all colour drains from Kell's face. For a fleeting moment, both of them, Kyle and Lucifer, can see the raw pain, sharp like a knife's edge, bleeding out, then Kell closes his eyes and utters a single word.
"Yes."
They have made this decision together. Kell knew well what this would mean, and still insisted that Rhy do what he believed was right. What they both believed was right. What he still believes is. Nothing about it makes him feel better. Nothing makes him feel less abandoned, now when it's not Rhy coming to his rescue. That, eventually, there's always something more important than him. People, duty, a kingdom. There's always something. It doesn't help that he knows those thoughts, those feelings, are wrong. He can't stop himself from having them. He had personally, intentionally, agreed to that. He too thought, thinks still, it's important.
Kell takes a deep breath. Yes. Important things. He forces his eyes open, forces them to focus first on Lucifer, then Kyle and nods.
"I should probably show you the way to the camp."
If he can find it. He was just a little lost when he met them.