[ She falls asleep as he hoped she would, and now he's the only one left awake. It's something equally familiar to him despite the point of Hilda dragging him to bed during the war (and long before it) was to make sure he actually got some sleep. He did more often than not, and to the point where he'd fallen asleep before her several times in implicit trust meant only for her. The least he can do now is make sure she stays settled, her weight against him steadying like usual and in a callback to where nights weren't so restless as they'd always been for him. He doesn't mind staying still for her sake, an exception to his rules as she's always been.
The other part of the storytelling, not that he was going to tell Hilda this under anything besides duress forcing it out, is that a small part of him is afraid that if he closes his eyes he'll be right back in the cavern. Or it's not a small part, not really, and whether it'd be only because of a dream or due to some variety of a warp spell hereto unknown until right then feel equally frightening. Unbeknownst to Claude he goes through the same steps Hilda does: reminders that she's here, to let the world narrow down to only that. Everything else can wait for now. It'll still be here. They'll both still be here. Petra and Sylvain are alright, and they'll be here. It's more than enough.
Shifting a little, one tiny movement at a time to make sure he doesn't wake her, he turns to press his lips to her forehead and lets them linger with his eyes falling shut. As if it'll transfer everything going unsaid, erase away everything so she forgets the past few weeks - a balm he knows he should have offered while she was still awake. But on this he's also afraid even if those reasons are harder to grasp with how they slip through his fingers, and this does nothing to untangle the growing web of confusion intricately laced inside him that he's dragged her into when he doesn't know how to change it. ]
I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I won't leave you again.
[ Murmured against skin, like so many other truths whispered to her on past nights he's not yet made himself to say in daylight, like that'll transmit them to where they'll matter and can't be brushed off. That what he says now is something he can't guarantee leaves him feeling helpless. But Claude still wills it to help anyway, and that's the last thing still on his mind when sleep comes to pull him under as well. ]
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The other part of the storytelling, not that he was going to tell Hilda this under anything besides duress forcing it out, is that a small part of him is afraid that if he closes his eyes he'll be right back in the cavern. Or it's not a small part, not really, and whether it'd be only because of a dream or due to some variety of a warp spell hereto unknown until right then feel equally frightening. Unbeknownst to Claude he goes through the same steps Hilda does: reminders that she's here, to let the world narrow down to only that. Everything else can wait for now. It'll still be here. They'll both still be here. Petra and Sylvain are alright, and they'll be here. It's more than enough.
Shifting a little, one tiny movement at a time to make sure he doesn't wake her, he turns to press his lips to her forehead and lets them linger with his eyes falling shut. As if it'll transfer everything going unsaid, erase away everything so she forgets the past few weeks - a balm he knows he should have offered while she was still awake. But on this he's also afraid even if those reasons are harder to grasp with how they slip through his fingers, and this does nothing to untangle the growing web of confusion intricately laced inside him that he's dragged her into when he doesn't know how to change it. ]
I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I won't leave you again.
[ Murmured against skin, like so many other truths whispered to her on past nights he's not yet made himself to say in daylight, like that'll transmit them to where they'll matter and can't be brushed off. That what he says now is something he can't guarantee leaves him feeling helpless. But Claude still wills it to help anyway, and that's the last thing still on his mind when sleep comes to pull him under as well. ]