I've been working on it for a while. I promised I'd get them out.
[ Jesper usually is easy-going and while he's felt very passionate about this for almost a year, it's not something he shares with everyone. It's not a matter of trust, more than he and Kaz have still not come up with the perfect plan. The need didn't seem dire and it would have to be a situation where they could get anyone out who wanted to. So it had to be planned carefully.
It is particularly painful and Sylvain can see it now, because Jesper promised to save them, and then he did, in this case. He fulfilled it, but he still has to let the Thorne people go back. And it hurts, he feels like he's failed them. They're alive but it's not good enough. Jesper doesn't have a white knight syndrome, but he does have a protector persona. It's not about rescuing people, it is about keeping them safe. He can't keep his lovers safe when they're far away and in a gilded cage.
He wants to let go of this rage and turmoil though, it's only going to poison him, and he smiles faintly at Sylvain, holding his hand to his heart. It feels better, having a physical connection. He winks at him. ]
You come to me as soon as you're on the mend and we'll celebrate life together until you pass out.
[ As for the killing, well. Jesper looks away from and then shrugs. ]
I've killed and tortured before, not the best part of my job, but required sometimes.
[ It's why he is very good at both of those things. His abilities make it a lot easier these days, almost too easy. Perhaps that is why it unsettled him, finally embracing his Grisha powers only to use them violently. His mother would for certain never approve. ]
I've just never really enjoyed it. [ Until this. ]
no subject
[ Jesper usually is easy-going and while he's felt very passionate about this for almost a year, it's not something he shares with everyone. It's not a matter of trust, more than he and Kaz have still not come up with the perfect plan. The need didn't seem dire and it would have to be a situation where they could get anyone out who wanted to. So it had to be planned carefully.
It is particularly painful and Sylvain can see it now, because Jesper promised to save them, and then he did, in this case. He fulfilled it, but he still has to let the Thorne people go back. And it hurts, he feels like he's failed them. They're alive but it's not good enough. Jesper doesn't have a white knight syndrome, but he does have a protector persona. It's not about rescuing people, it is about keeping them safe. He can't keep his lovers safe when they're far away and in a gilded cage.
He wants to let go of this rage and turmoil though, it's only going to poison him, and he smiles faintly at Sylvain, holding his hand to his heart. It feels better, having a physical connection. He winks at him. ]
You come to me as soon as you're on the mend and we'll celebrate life together until you pass out.
[ As for the killing, well. Jesper looks away from and then shrugs. ]
I've killed and tortured before, not the best part of my job, but required sometimes.
[ It's why he is very good at both of those things. His abilities make it a lot easier these days, almost too easy. Perhaps that is why it unsettled him, finally embracing his Grisha powers only to use them violently. His mother would for certain never approve. ]
I've just never really enjoyed it. [ Until this. ]