Jesper thought when he saw the letter that there was no way this could go poorly. They were going to be together. He already started restructuring his life, making plans. He's wanted this for so long that he feels something stuck in his stomach, weighing it down, in his chest, spreading to something cold. After everything he's been through lately, and he knows it's not the same as what happened to Mat, he's been leaning into his dark side consistently. He never had many morals to begin with, but he'd gone icy cold for weeks. For the hope of having him back but also for hope of the future. Their future. Mat back in his arms.

"They won't honor it if you go back. They're never letting any of you go willingly, we just tricked them into this." They only did this because he made a scene, he can't make another scene afterward. They've already gone to that place. "Mat, this is probably our only chance."

Jesper hasn't abandoned his plans of rescuing everyone from Thorne eventually but it probably won't ever come to fruition. He's come up against all dead ends. He looks like his heart is breaking because it is, his expression crumbled, his eyes pained and also in some slight disbelief. To him it's simple. Take the risk, be together. Being together is worth any risk.

"You never actually wanted to come with me, did you? You were just talking." A fantasy. To him, a fantasy that could come real. Jesper is the most confident person out there, but he is suddenly feeling something he rarely does: insecurity. Uncertainty. He's not being chosen. Logic isn't possible in this state.

"It's a risk but it's worth it. It should be worth it."