[ He’s not surprised that she goes straight for the throat. Even if she probably doesn’t understand what a loaded question that is. The layers of answers and how deep and twisted they go. Launching into his brother trauma right from the start seems a poor way to go so he starts with the abridged version. The one he’s told all his life. The one only four people know isn’t true. Three who had seen through it back before he’d gotten so good at hiding it and one… who was just a nosey fucker and knew everyone’s secrets, honestly. ]
I was… clumsy. As a kid. [ True enough, and he gives a wry chuckle as he wraps around her and stares up at the night sky. Anchors himself in the sight of it. Every pinprick of light that breaks up the endless black. ] It took me a while to grow into myself, so I was always tripping over my feet, graceful as a fuckin gangly colt. It meant I landed myself in a lot of… accidents.
[ There’s a pause there, because that skirts uncomfortably close to a lie. It’s not one in itself, he had been clumsy. But most of the ‘accidents’ that haunt his nightmares… hadn’t been accidental at all. ]
I fell down an old well once. When I was… seven, I think? Broke my arm in three places on the way down. But it meant I couldn’t climb my way back up. Not sure I could have even without the broken arm, if I’m honest. There was barely any water at the bottom anymore, just enough so I didn’t break my neck when I landed but still enough that I had to worry about falling asleep and accidentally drowning myself. I screamed for help for hours, but there was no one around to hear.
It was two days and two nights before they found me and by that time I was completely delirious. Sure I was gonna die down there in the dark and the wet. I… I haven’t handled tight dark spaces well ever since and add in a damp element and it just sends my brain right back there, even if I know its not the same.
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I was… clumsy. As a kid. [ True enough, and he gives a wry chuckle as he wraps around her and stares up at the night sky. Anchors himself in the sight of it. Every pinprick of light that breaks up the endless black. ] It took me a while to grow into myself, so I was always tripping over my feet, graceful as a fuckin gangly colt. It meant I landed myself in a lot of… accidents.
[ There’s a pause there, because that skirts uncomfortably close to a lie. It’s not one in itself, he had been clumsy. But most of the ‘accidents’ that haunt his nightmares… hadn’t been accidental at all. ]
I fell down an old well once. When I was… seven, I think? Broke my arm in three places on the way down. But it meant I couldn’t climb my way back up. Not sure I could have even without the broken arm, if I’m honest. There was barely any water at the bottom anymore, just enough so I didn’t break my neck when I landed but still enough that I had to worry about falling asleep and accidentally drowning myself. I screamed for help for hours, but there was no one around to hear.
It was two days and two nights before they found me and by that time I was completely delirious. Sure I was gonna die down there in the dark and the wet. I… I haven’t handled tight dark spaces well ever since and add in a damp element and it just sends my brain right back there, even if I know its not the same.