You won't. [ Still clutching his hand, she raises it to her lips and gently kisses his knuckles. She doesn't want him to think he'll lose her -- she will not willingly give him up, even for the Singularity. Nor does she want to lose herself to it, but she doesn't think the Singularity wants that either. The Singularity is lonely. It wants to communicate with her, to be connected to her. She doesn't believe it would intentionally try to absorb her. In fact, one of the only times she couldn't feel it at all, not even the vague constant sense of it she's always had, was when she was trapped.
She couldn't feel it, felt nothing at all until the creeping sensation that she now understands as a herald of people impinging on her connection. The Singularity hadn't seemed panicked, when she was freed, but if it had been able to feel her during that time, it was a one-way street.
Julie has had external malevolence try to exert the same pressure in her mind. The Singularity has never felt like that to her, like the greasy, insidious fingers digging in. Flagg's sick, evil influence seemed normal at the time, but after his disappearance, she understood the difference. And the Singularity has never made her feel that way. ]
I don't know what I mean to do. [ Her brow knits. Julie has long known that Ciri is somehow special, but she has not felt the need to dig into it. And she knows that Ciri does not feel the Singularity like she does, although whether that's by choice is still up in the air. Ciri has certainly been adamant that she doesn't want much to do with it. So Julie really doesn't know what exploring it might mean, in her own case. ] I told you that Wanda found somethin' in my brain that isn't mine, but I didn't get to tell you what. She found... I mean, I don't know exactly, 'cause I couldn't see, but I think she found what the fortuneteller saw. Purple flames, crowds around the Singularity.
[ She stops in a way that feels much more like trailing off than actually finishing the thought. One of the few things Geralt doesn't know is how she died, how this is somehow linking her further. And she can't face her fear that this is what will be, that she will die the same way twice.
And she doesn't know what it means, either. Her voice drops slightly; she doesn't mean to take up his focus on these things. She just thinks he will also be upset if she keeps it to herself. ] It mostly sort of sleeps, anyway. I don't know if it's real sleep, but that's what it feels like.
no subject
She couldn't feel it, felt nothing at all until the creeping sensation that she now understands as a herald of people impinging on her connection. The Singularity hadn't seemed panicked, when she was freed, but if it had been able to feel her during that time, it was a one-way street.
Julie has had external malevolence try to exert the same pressure in her mind. The Singularity has never felt like that to her, like the greasy, insidious fingers digging in. Flagg's sick, evil influence seemed normal at the time, but after his disappearance, she understood the difference. And the Singularity has never made her feel that way. ]
I don't know what I mean to do. [ Her brow knits. Julie has long known that Ciri is somehow special, but she has not felt the need to dig into it. And she knows that Ciri does not feel the Singularity like she does, although whether that's by choice is still up in the air. Ciri has certainly been adamant that she doesn't want much to do with it. So Julie really doesn't know what exploring it might mean, in her own case. ] I told you that Wanda found somethin' in my brain that isn't mine, but I didn't get to tell you what. She found... I mean, I don't know exactly, 'cause I couldn't see, but I think she found what the fortuneteller saw. Purple flames, crowds around the Singularity.
[ She stops in a way that feels much more like trailing off than actually finishing the thought. One of the few things Geralt doesn't know is how she died, how this is somehow linking her further. And she can't face her fear that this is what will be, that she will die the same way twice.
And she doesn't know what it means, either. Her voice drops slightly; she doesn't mean to take up his focus on these things. She just thinks he will also be upset if she keeps it to herself. ] It mostly sort of sleeps, anyway. I don't know if it's real sleep, but that's what it feels like.