[ There's a rebuttal, a gentle batting of a comment at the ready. She had spent her entire life dodging the expectations of others, carefully dancing around it like a light, airy creature that didn't have a care in the world. Her stubborn reluctance had eventually made that true. Most of the time she didn't have a care in the world - not a real one, anyway; there would never be the weight of a nation on her shoulders, or even the responsibility of ensuring the wellbeing of a Duchy because that wasn't the lot she had been cast.
Even if she had, Hilda simply didn't pair well with responsibility. And responsibility often came hand in hand with expectations. Unfortunately along the way, the belief that she wasn't capable of things she wasn't already good at had also fallen into the mix, landing her where she was now. No one had really cared (Holst cared, but cared in the overbearing way that was too much) to push back against those self-imposed thoughts about herself until the Deer with Claude and the professor leading the charge.
Everything Claude is saying makes sense at an objective level. They're things she would say to someone in her own shoes. But objectivity didn't play with her anxiety. Her gaze is fixed on a shade of purple that practically looks blue and her mind tries to focus on what shade it actually is in order to ground herself. Claude's hand helps with that too though and she squeezes back even as she gnaws slightly at her lower lip. It's another beat before she lets out an exasperated laugh, something that sounds like a joke while simultaneously an echo of the esteem she holds Claude in. ]
Easy for you to say. You're Mr. Capable Leader Man. You could probably make the necklace glow on your first try.
[ She doesn't really have a desire to dive into something that is just about a necklace (it isn't just about a necklace, it's something larger, something that she doesn't want to face). Her sniff is more a shallow shudder, a sign that she's trying to dispel the lump in her throat as she pointedly also ignores the look the merchant is giving them. Several pots are slid towards the merchant, but Hilda dares a look towards Claude that reveals her misty eyes. ]
I knew you figured it out, you jerk. And for that and for making me almost cry, you're going to have to buy me all of these paints.
no subject
Even if she had, Hilda simply didn't pair well with responsibility. And responsibility often came hand in hand with expectations. Unfortunately along the way, the belief that she wasn't capable of things she wasn't already good at had also fallen into the mix, landing her where she was now. No one had really cared (Holst cared, but cared in the overbearing way that was too much) to push back against those self-imposed thoughts about herself until the Deer with Claude and the professor leading the charge.
Everything Claude is saying makes sense at an objective level. They're things she would say to someone in her own shoes. But objectivity didn't play with her anxiety. Her gaze is fixed on a shade of purple that practically looks blue and her mind tries to focus on what shade it actually is in order to ground herself. Claude's hand helps with that too though and she squeezes back even as she gnaws slightly at her lower lip. It's another beat before she lets out an exasperated laugh, something that sounds like a joke while simultaneously an echo of the esteem she holds Claude in. ]
Easy for you to say. You're Mr. Capable Leader Man. You could probably make the necklace glow on your first try.
[ She doesn't really have a desire to dive into something that is just about a necklace (it isn't just about a necklace, it's something larger, something that she doesn't want to face). Her sniff is more a shallow shudder, a sign that she's trying to dispel the lump in her throat as she pointedly also ignores the look the merchant is giving them. Several pots are slid towards the merchant, but Hilda dares a look towards Claude that reveals her misty eyes. ]
I knew you figured it out, you jerk. And for that and for making me almost cry, you're going to have to buy me all of these paints.