It would have made him feel less alone, maybe given him more will to live. Istredd did try to care, but he was tired. Yennefer did find him in the Horizon on the second week and got it into his mind to keep fighting when he was flagging. That is what he needed. But his bond with her is temporarily broken. All they had was those five minutes. He wanted Lucifer.

Impossible though, and probably not the best to keep lingering, although it's difficult not to do that when he still has troubled dreams and a scared mindset. Sleeping with Lucifer every night has done wonders but it hasn't fixed the problem. That will just take more time.

Mmm, doubtful. You're special. I love your personality too. Even when you're being a prick. That's what Istredd meant about falling in love with his mind first. It wasn't the last or only thing he fell in love with. Sometimes especially when you're being a prick. He smiles into Lucifer's skin and kisses his shoulder, biting it gently. He is generally attracted to not-so-nice people, it's true.

It explains why no matter how much Lucifer tried to push him into anger or leaving him, it wouldn't work. Istredd is drawn to the very things he thought would push him away. There were a lot of should I strangle him or kiss him moments.