[wanda is thankful that michael isn't the most literal person, that they can have this conversation without the awkward, painful admittance that she intends one thing but does not want to speak of it directly.
she is not wavering in her choices, in her decision; she needs to be clear about that. even if most everyone who has gotten to know what that decision was has reacted negatively to it. she knows it's worry, she knows it's concernβshe doesn't exactly have the best track record with allowing herself to be influenced by something outside of her scope of understanding. still, she wishes her choices mattered, that she was given a chance to grow and be accountable for what she's done and will do.
she would like to think that she knows better by now.]
Perhaps not always, but even if something works one way 99% of the time, there's always that 1% of the times that a different route will work just as wellβor even better, depending on the circumstances.
[numbers β they can work with numbers.]
Even if the probabilities are small.
[frowning, she keeps her attention where her hands are, trying to keep steady in the face of having to explain herself. the next thing she says isn't quite so implicit.]
I can't let myself think that all my choices were wrong ones. For once, I can finallyβ make use of my magic for something that can help others. Even if it means burning myself in the process, I can protect others β I can save them. [the pinch on her expression deepens] Whatever consequences come after, I can worry about them later. Fix them later.
The good guys always find a solution in the end.
[and she wants, so desperately, to be considered good.]
no subject
she is not wavering in her choices, in her decision; she needs to be clear about that. even if most everyone who has gotten to know what that decision was has reacted negatively to it. she knows it's worry, she knows it's concernβshe doesn't exactly have the best track record with allowing herself to be influenced by something outside of her scope of understanding. still, she wishes her choices mattered, that she was given a chance to grow and be accountable for what she's done and will do.
she would like to think that she knows better by now.]
Perhaps not always, but even if something works one way 99% of the time, there's always that 1% of the times that a different route will work just as wellβor even better, depending on the circumstances.
[numbers β they can work with numbers.]
Even if the probabilities are small.
[frowning, she keeps her attention where her hands are, trying to keep steady in the face of having to explain herself. the next thing she says isn't quite so implicit.]
I can't let myself think that all my choices were wrong ones. For once, I can finallyβ make use of my magic for something that can help others. Even if it means burning myself in the process, I can protect others β I can save them. [the pinch on her expression deepens] Whatever consequences come after, I can worry about them later. Fix them later.
The good guys always find a solution in the end.
[and she wants, so desperately, to be considered good.]