[ It's not true. Amos is also unaware it's not true. As far as he's concerned, his answer is genuine; the last time he recognized fear he was kid — young — and in order to survive, he cut off that emotion. Cut off most emotions, really. Or at least thinks he did.
Nobility doesn't exist in his personal world. He admires some people who are like the knights Geralt might think of — has all but pledged his life to some of them, really — but it doesn't exist for him. If he has a gun and the other guy doesn't, he's still taking the shot. It would be stupid not to. And therein lies the problem with possessing a power like this: he'll kill, and he won't see the problem with it, and he'll do it again, and again, and again, and then.
Oh. Maybe he wasn't asking about traditional fears. More like.
Amos shrugs. Doesn't mind talking about this shit with Geralt. Out of everyone here, he might even actually get it. Their rapport's alright enough. ]
So, I'm not a good person. Way I go through life can be kinda fucked up. Only, you know, it's what I know. Can't exactly change that. Things that probably should occur to me don't. [ Like murder not being a go-to solution for a problem. It's his, though. Or just being able to beat a guy and not... stop, even if he needs information from them. ] Usually I get someone else's help with that stuff, only they're all back home, and I'm flying blind. And now I've got this to take into consideration, too.
[ He frowns. Swallows, like there's something caught in his throat. There isn't, but he was imprisoned, lost all of his agency for a couple of months, and he still hasn't even attempted to deal with that. ]
Just feels like I'm gonna fuck up again. It's what I usually end up doing.
[ There's no self-pity in his voice; no resignation, either. He's as plain-spoken as he's been throughout all of this. Water's wet, sky's up, Amos fucks up. Just the way things are. ]
no subject
[ It's not true. Amos is also unaware it's not true. As far as he's concerned, his answer is genuine; the last time he recognized fear he was kid — young — and in order to survive, he cut off that emotion. Cut off most emotions, really. Or at least thinks he did.
Nobility doesn't exist in his personal world. He admires some people who are like the knights Geralt might think of — has all but pledged his life to some of them, really — but it doesn't exist for him. If he has a gun and the other guy doesn't, he's still taking the shot. It would be stupid not to. And therein lies the problem with possessing a power like this: he'll kill, and he won't see the problem with it, and he'll do it again, and again, and again, and then.
Oh. Maybe he wasn't asking about traditional fears. More like.
Amos shrugs. Doesn't mind talking about this shit with Geralt. Out of everyone here, he might even actually get it. Their rapport's alright enough. ]
So, I'm not a good person. Way I go through life can be kinda fucked up. Only, you know, it's what I know. Can't exactly change that. Things that probably should occur to me don't. [ Like murder not being a go-to solution for a problem. It's his, though. Or just being able to beat a guy and not... stop, even if he needs information from them. ] Usually I get someone else's help with that stuff, only they're all back home, and I'm flying blind. And now I've got this to take into consideration, too.
[ He frowns. Swallows, like there's something caught in his throat. There isn't, but he was imprisoned, lost all of his agency for a couple of months, and he still hasn't even attempted to deal with that. ]
Just feels like I'm gonna fuck up again. It's what I usually end up doing.
[ There's no self-pity in his voice; no resignation, either. He's as plain-spoken as he's been throughout all of this. Water's wet, sky's up, Amos fucks up. Just the way things are. ]