magicalarchaeologist: (097)
Istredd ([personal profile] magicalarchaeologist) wrote in [community profile] abraxaslogs 2023-04-29 07:10 pm (UTC)

At a point, being alone was so familiar that Istredd accepted it as his life and convinced himself he wanted it that way. He purposely kept himself from making closer connections while working. He had polite and even nice casual friendships, a few relationships too that never lasted long because of his emotional distance, but his two bonds were too damaged. One because of his mistakes and Yenenfer's ambitions, one because his father figure is a narcissistic monster.

He'd never had anyone close to his heart. No one he felt like was his until now. He and Lucifer have a bond metaphorically and literally that no one else can touch and he's been confident in that for awhile, at least as confident as someone with his occasional self-esteem issues can be.

That Kyle would attack or stab Lucifer has never even entered his mind for a moment. Istredd would have been confused but aggressive immediately, causing conflict in this ballroom right away. Lucifer is strong and inhuman, but it doesn't matter. An attack on him is an attack on both of them. But that doesn't occur to him, Kyle would never hurt Lucifer, in his mind. Especially not in public.

So that is why he fixates on the intimate touching, on the kiss, forehead or not. He smushes down his streak of jealousy as fast as possible so Lucifer doesn't know that it lingers, although he can guess. They'll talk about it later, for now he just feels completely thrown off.

"Yes, I was just startled. It looked ... like something else for a moment." It still looks like that something else in his opinion. Since when are they the type of friends who Lucifer would allow that closeness? It isn't fair, he understands that, but if feelings were rational, he would be a happier person in general.

Istredd is glad to get off the dance floor, he'd probably be too distracted to do well at it now. He wants to stay out of the way of the others right then. He can sense that Lucifer is confused and feels nothing else about it. Istredd may be getting an intimate experience of how it might have felt for Lucifer to feel his surge of lust with Yennefer before the bond closed.

"We're not ... technically exclusive." Istredd has the freedom to occasionally be with Yennefer. He just didn't think it was something he'd have to worry about, which is pretty damn selfish and foolish.

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