"You're right, I know that logically. I would know if something was there to be worried about." Lucifer does know how to block him from his feelings when necessary, but if he wanted Kyle, it would've been clear due to the surprise nature of it. They really should talk about the rules between them. They still haven't, despite Lucifer knowing he should make sure Yennefer could share first. One of those 'we never talk' points that Lucifer said before.
It just mostly didn't seem possible. They're still navigating all of this. Istredd knows that no one will ever be what he is to Lucifer. Even if that changes slightly down the road, their relationship remains secure. Istredd is his best friend, the first person he's ever wanted to be with. He just cycles that in his head as a reminder.
Lucifer is inhuman, no one except for the other angels really knows to the extent Istredd does, who has seen his true form (while protected). But it's still hard for him to think that he could keep the attention of someone extraordinary. Istredd doesn't hate himself, he generally thinks that he is a talented and decent mage. He's just not important. He's not special. Except to one person.
"It's not my first time being jealous in general. Yenna -- Yennefer -- is often admired and she has other lovers. For a long time, I was sick with jealousy, until we worked out where we stood." It really took them breaking down into that jealous and possessive rage and getting back together. It took reigniting that long-term trust between them, reminding themselves of the friendship that mattered so much once upon a time. Now they're back to being in a good place without any jealousy.
He doesn't know how much Kell is aware of Yennefer outside of how she stands in the Thorne Summoned. It's not a secret that the two of them are from the same world and close.
Istredd takes in a deep breath and lets it out, focusing on Kell entirely now. Trying to shake off those feelings still. "I think I forgot what it was like, to be newly in love with someone. Yennefer and I, we've been attached since we were children, over seventy years, although most of that was apart." His love never ended for her, but it's not the same exact love as this, it's not fresh and intense and sometimes ugly.
He rarely speaks about Yennefer to anyone other than Lucifer, so Kell is now in the club of knowing a little more about their history. Not to mention so few know how deep his attachment goes. Istredd is surprised he's talking about this at all with anyone. "I've loved him for months and sometimes I feel insane, like it's too much. I can't be rational."
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It just mostly didn't seem possible. They're still navigating all of this. Istredd knows that no one will ever be what he is to Lucifer. Even if that changes slightly down the road, their relationship remains secure. Istredd is his best friend, the first person he's ever wanted to be with. He just cycles that in his head as a reminder.
Lucifer is inhuman, no one except for the other angels really knows to the extent Istredd does, who has seen his true form (while protected). But it's still hard for him to think that he could keep the attention of someone extraordinary. Istredd doesn't hate himself, he generally thinks that he is a talented and decent mage. He's just not important. He's not special. Except to one person.
"It's not my first time being jealous in general. Yenna -- Yennefer -- is often admired and she has other lovers. For a long time, I was sick with jealousy, until we worked out where we stood." It really took them breaking down into that jealous and possessive rage and getting back together. It took reigniting that long-term trust between them, reminding themselves of the friendship that mattered so much once upon a time. Now they're back to being in a good place without any jealousy.
He doesn't know how much Kell is aware of Yennefer outside of how she stands in the Thorne Summoned. It's not a secret that the two of them are from the same world and close.
Istredd takes in a deep breath and lets it out, focusing on Kell entirely now. Trying to shake off those feelings still. "I think I forgot what it was like, to be newly in love with someone. Yennefer and I, we've been attached since we were children, over seventy years, although most of that was apart." His love never ended for her, but it's not the same exact love as this, it's not fresh and intense and sometimes ugly.
He rarely speaks about Yennefer to anyone other than Lucifer, so Kell is now in the club of knowing a little more about their history. Not to mention so few know how deep his attachment goes. Istredd is surprised he's talking about this at all with anyone. "I've loved him for months and sometimes I feel insane, like it's too much. I can't be rational."