"I didn't want to feel this way again," he admits. "When you lose something like this ... it's the type of thing that takes you sixty years to feel better about, and then you find out you were lying to yourself." Istredd was so intensely in love with Yennefer. Not enough to do the right thing, not enough to be trustworthy. But they were never really meant to be at that age, he does believe that. Their lives went in opposite directions.
Not everyone has the kind of lifetimes where they can rattle off sixty years of experience as more like six years, but for his kind when you have six hundred years ahead of you, it does feel different. The depth of his relationship with Yennefer is truly complicated and it's not over, it'll never be over. That's the point. Istredd loves forever. That is what he knows about himself now. He doesn't stop loving.
He jumps a little when Kell rests his head on his shoulder. Not because he's against it, more out of surprise. Apparently both he and Lucifer aren't used to close personal touches. These are the types of details they're similar about. Istredd doesn't really know what to do at first, but he lifts a hand and gently touches his hair. A silent benediction, indicating he is fine with this, strange as it feels.
"Don't tell anyone what I said about Yennefer. She is very private and for good reason. She has a reputation here to maintain." And it's serious and important for her and for all the Thorne Summoned. She has a direct connection to the queen. She did give some of it away when in public, so probably the queen is aware now of her closeness to him.
"I don't really know how to do this." He gestures between the two of them. "My mentor Stregobor is a narcissistic cruel-hearted ass." Istredd's hate of him comes from a place of bitterness from being betrayed in a dozen different ways. "But he is, for all intents and purposes, the only parent I ever had."
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Not everyone has the kind of lifetimes where they can rattle off sixty years of experience as more like six years, but for his kind when you have six hundred years ahead of you, it does feel different. The depth of his relationship with Yennefer is truly complicated and it's not over, it'll never be over. That's the point. Istredd loves forever. That is what he knows about himself now. He doesn't stop loving.
He jumps a little when Kell rests his head on his shoulder. Not because he's against it, more out of surprise. Apparently both he and Lucifer aren't used to close personal touches. These are the types of details they're similar about. Istredd doesn't really know what to do at first, but he lifts a hand and gently touches his hair. A silent benediction, indicating he is fine with this, strange as it feels.
"Don't tell anyone what I said about Yennefer. She is very private and for good reason. She has a reputation here to maintain." And it's serious and important for her and for all the Thorne Summoned. She has a direct connection to the queen. She did give some of it away when in public, so probably the queen is aware now of her closeness to him.
"I don't really know how to do this." He gestures between the two of them. "My mentor Stregobor is a narcissistic cruel-hearted ass." Istredd's hate of him comes from a place of bitterness from being betrayed in a dozen different ways. "But he is, for all intents and purposes, the only parent I ever had."