Kell doesn't know how much their experiences can even be compared, but his own hurt and fury had kept him from pursuing any meaningful relationship, romantic or sexual, away from what he couldn't have. At some point you just give up to cut your loses and avoid more pain. He can get that.
The privacy of their conversation was obvious to him from the start. It's raw, person, not something you're supposed to casually blab about. If Istredd's feels the need to ask, though, then apparently it was not all that obvious to him.
"I would never," he assures. "I figured out that what you told me is very private."
Yennefer is a public figure. It doesn't mean all of her matters are up for scrutiny. Kell has been a prince - in name only, but a prince still - for fifteen years, he knows how it's like to have almost no life at all to call your own. All the time in the public eye. He wouldn't want this for anyone. Rhy might thrive on attention, but he? With his one black eye singling him out in any crowd? Most of the time he just wanted to hide. He doubts Yennefer is anything like him. Still, she deserves to keep her secrets no matter how much her ambitions make her center of attention for many. But it's not about her, for Kell, Istredd deserves to keep his private life private even more. Kell considers himself lucky to be able to have them talk like that at all.
It's only because they are, he's able to do what he does. Thing is Kell doesn't like to be touched. He's more similar to Lucifer in that regard. A polar opposite to Rhy. So now he's acting right across his ingrained habits on vague hunch, merely a shadow of some yet before unfulfilled need, that it feel like a right thing to do.
He can't help but chuckle hearing Istredd description of his mentor. Well, what do you know? Because King Maxim was a kind and loving parent... Seriously, Istredd has done more for him in those three weeks they were locked up that his adopted parent did for entirety of Kell's life.
"Then you're very good at using him as example of what not to do." Kell pauses thinking carefully how to phrase it right. "I don't even know who my real parents were. I don't know if they wanted me and I was taken from them, or they feared me and were happy to get rid of me. I only know that my adopted father ordered his own court mage, my future mentor, a priest, to wipe my memory from before the adoption. With magic that's technically forbidden. But pesky little details never really bothered him. I know that both of my adopted parents couldn't be bothered to treat me like a person, and only behaved to keep up appearances. Because I was useful for them. I was only there so in future I could die protecting their precious heir and kingdom, if either were in any kind of danger. That neither would have lifted a finger to save me if that meant any risk to them at all.
But you? I am of no use to you, but you were willing to die back in that cave if only that got me and Wilhelm out. So honestly, Istredd, you have no competition or insufficient skill to worry about."
Excuse him getting a bit agitated. He feels very strongly about this particular subject.
no subject
Kell doesn't know how much their experiences can even be compared, but his own hurt and fury had kept him from pursuing any meaningful relationship, romantic or sexual, away from what he couldn't have. At some point you just give up to cut your loses and avoid more pain. He can get that.
The privacy of their conversation was obvious to him from the start. It's raw, person, not something you're supposed to casually blab about. If Istredd's feels the need to ask, though, then apparently it was not all that obvious to him.
"I would never," he assures. "I figured out that what you told me is very private."
Yennefer is a public figure. It doesn't mean all of her matters are up for scrutiny. Kell has been a prince - in name only, but a prince still - for fifteen years, he knows how it's like to have almost no life at all to call your own. All the time in the public eye. He wouldn't want this for anyone. Rhy might thrive on attention, but he? With his one black eye singling him out in any crowd? Most of the time he just wanted to hide. He doubts Yennefer is anything like him. Still, she deserves to keep her secrets no matter how much her ambitions make her center of attention for many.
But it's not about her, for Kell, Istredd deserves to keep his private life private even more. Kell considers himself lucky to be able to have them talk like that at all.
It's only because they are, he's able to do what he does. Thing is Kell doesn't like to be touched. He's more similar to Lucifer in that regard. A polar opposite to Rhy. So now he's acting right across his ingrained habits on vague hunch, merely a shadow of some yet before unfulfilled need, that it feel like a right thing to do.
He can't help but chuckle hearing Istredd description of his mentor. Well, what do you know? Because King Maxim was a kind and loving parent... Seriously, Istredd has done more for him in those three weeks they were locked up that his adopted parent did for entirety of Kell's life.
"Then you're very good at using him as example of what not to do." Kell pauses thinking carefully how to phrase it right. "I don't even know who my real parents were. I don't know if they wanted me and I was taken from them, or they feared me and were happy to get rid of me. I only know that my adopted father ordered his own court mage, my future mentor, a priest, to wipe my memory from before the adoption. With magic that's technically forbidden. But pesky little details never really bothered him. I know that both of my adopted parents couldn't be bothered to treat me like a person, and only behaved to keep up appearances. Because I was useful for them. I was only there so in future I could die protecting their precious heir and kingdom, if either were in any kind of danger. That neither would have lifted a finger to save me if that meant any risk to them at all.
But you? I am of no use to you, but you were willing to die back in that cave if only that got me and Wilhelm out. So honestly, Istredd, you have no competition or insufficient skill to worry about."
Excuse him getting a bit agitated. He feels very strongly about this particular subject.