Istredd has to trust that Kell can protect what he is saying about Yennefer. It is difficult, because even talking about her sometimes makes him feel like he's putting her in danger. Not that it is subtle at all who they are to one another now. But she guards her past extremely well and he is already a glaring weakness for her.
"Lucifer is a safe subject." They aren't hiding their relationship. They aren't in the same vulnerable position as Yennefer. Safe in terms of he has no plans on lying about his partner. He is proud to be with him. Lucifer is difficult and many people have warned him, even more warnings to come, but it doesn't change how he feels. And how certain he is that they may be right, but it doesn't apply to him. What they have is too real.
"It's fine." This time it sounds sincere that he is. The initial panic is gone. "I know Kyle surprised him too." He felt the confusion on their bond. "We'll talk it out." They never do though. It is an adjustment they're still working on.
Istredd moves his shoulder but only so he can put his arm around Kell's shoulders and allow the boy to rest more comfortably against him. It allows him a sense of security in a gesture of affection too. He listens to his story about what he went through, how his parental figures failed, and it's difficult not to be afraid to end up on that list. He'll just have to refuse to.
"The Brotherhood takes us as children too. They pay your family off or just take you. I don't know what happened to me, I have no memory of before them." Istredd doesn't know if he had parents who cared or were all to happy to put him onto the shoulders of someone else. His world is a hard place to live in. "They don't see us as children. We're tools. It's why when Lucifer jokes about teenagers to me, I don't understand. We were never teenagers or children. We were raised to use magic or die, use magic or be turned into eels and used to fuel everyone else's magic."
The fear was constant, the requirement to be driven to succeed all they could do. The eels thing will always be strange to others. For him it was just a driving force of why to be ambitious. "Then once you graduate, you serve them for the rest of your life. Hundreds of years. I refer to Stregobor as a parent only because I had no one else, but they don't see us so familial, we're investments. He thinks one day I will return to the Brotherhood from my research and be a fitting heir in the future."
Kell might remember from the memory shared before how Stregobor still treats Istredd as special. Still treats him as his protege even with all the space between them. His chosen one and Istredd wants none of it.
"I'm only saying all of this to explain that I don't know what family feels like." Kell has Rhy. Istredd has never had a family. "I am assuming that is how I feel for you right now, protective and proud, but it may take time before I know how to do this properly."
no subject
"Lucifer is a safe subject." They aren't hiding their relationship. They aren't in the same vulnerable position as Yennefer. Safe in terms of he has no plans on lying about his partner. He is proud to be with him. Lucifer is difficult and many people have warned him, even more warnings to come, but it doesn't change how he feels. And how certain he is that they may be right, but it doesn't apply to him. What they have is too real.
"It's fine." This time it sounds sincere that he is. The initial panic is gone. "I know Kyle surprised him too." He felt the confusion on their bond. "We'll talk it out." They never do though. It is an adjustment they're still working on.
Istredd moves his shoulder but only so he can put his arm around Kell's shoulders and allow the boy to rest more comfortably against him. It allows him a sense of security in a gesture of affection too. He listens to his story about what he went through, how his parental figures failed, and it's difficult not to be afraid to end up on that list. He'll just have to refuse to.
"The Brotherhood takes us as children too. They pay your family off or just take you. I don't know what happened to me, I have no memory of before them." Istredd doesn't know if he had parents who cared or were all to happy to put him onto the shoulders of someone else. His world is a hard place to live in. "They don't see us as children. We're tools. It's why when Lucifer jokes about teenagers to me, I don't understand. We were never teenagers or children. We were raised to use magic or die, use magic or be turned into eels and used to fuel everyone else's magic."
The fear was constant, the requirement to be driven to succeed all they could do. The eels thing will always be strange to others. For him it was just a driving force of why to be ambitious. "Then once you graduate, you serve them for the rest of your life. Hundreds of years. I refer to Stregobor as a parent only because I had no one else, but they don't see us so familial, we're investments. He thinks one day I will return to the Brotherhood from my research and be a fitting heir in the future."
Kell might remember from the memory shared before how Stregobor still treats Istredd as special. Still treats him as his protege even with all the space between them. His chosen one and Istredd wants none of it.
"I'm only saying all of this to explain that I don't know what family feels like." Kell has Rhy. Istredd has never had a family. "I am assuming that is how I feel for you right now, protective and proud, but it may take time before I know how to do this properly."