{I am a whisper in the darkness

[shadowthief]

Who: Inej + Various
When: Month of May
Where: Cadens + the Horizon
What: Various threads through the month
Warnings: stealing; murder; descriptions of touch aversion, anxiety, depression, PTSD; heavy trust issues, paranoia; mentions of past instances of prostitution, slavery, and sexual assault. Everything will be clearly marked if-when it comes up.

hide it in the darkness but everyone knows

the truth is found in the gallows

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[shadowthief]

No matter how well she ever thinks she knows him, one thing that Kaz Brekker is incapable of is failing to surprise her. Again and again, he has done or said things that she never would have expected from him. This moment is no different than countless others before it, the uncertainty strikes through her veins like lightning, the unpredictable nature of him lighting her from the inside, out.

She wonders at what point his hands, naked and porcelain under the gloves, stop being such a Saintsforsaken novelty. It’s been months and still, every time he takes off his gloves, a breath is caught in her throat.

She wishes it wasn’t such an unthinking instinct to lean into that hand at her cheek. She never wants to overwhelm him, push him too hard, too fast, but… she doesn’t coddle him, either, she knows he would hate it if she did. It’s a hard balance to strike, but she guesses she manages it pretty well.

The way he leans in is slow, though she’s not sure she could classify it as hesitant. Cautious, maybe, but there’s no doubt he wants this.

She sighs contentedly into that sweet, chaste kiss, fingers curling around the material of his shirt a little tighter as though to keep him in place. She doesn’t need fancy, she doesn’t need tricks or flare… just as long as it’s him she gets to keep.

[bealufull]

Kaz has lived nearly a decade with the only physical contact he's known that came with pain. Fists against his face, strike after strike. The one time it had come without pain, he had fainted in a wagon.

Until that moment when he'd taken Inej's hand in his.

Even then he had fainted at a kiss.

Now, nearly a year later, and it feels like another world to him. Even if that need for the contact of another only involves two people. A wild and troublesome gunslinger. And the beautiful, dangerous, ethereal wraith before him.

But now his kisses as warm, holding so many emotions he can't always find words for. Yet he's learning to show them. Through every deliberate touch. Every kiss. Every time he shows them that he chooses them over anything else. Over his past. Over his fears.

His fingers lightly stroke against her cheek, head canting slightly to deepen the kiss. Not fast or wild, but heated and showing how much he thinks of her, how much he needs her. Showing the things he can't always find words for.

[shadowthief]

There is always a certain sort of intensity when she’s with Kaz, and his kiss is no exception— there is a warmth that pours into her from him in a heady, dizzying wave that washes over her completely.

When he deepens the kiss, her fingers twist the material of his shirt tighter, free hand resting on his shoulder, leaning into that kiss all the more.

It’s a sudden, sharp sweep of emotion— he’s touching her, he’s kissing her—
he wants this
he wants her and Saints!— a desire that fills her up so fast that it takes everything just to keep herself in place. Next to him.

The thought— which comes with picture-perfect clarity in her mind— of shifting herself into his lap makes her heartbeat thud loud in her own ears, so loud she wouldn’t be particularly surprised if he could hear it, too.

Tentatively, she parts her lips, a gentle invitation for him to just explore, if he wants.

[bealufull]

The sensation is still there. That light headed, pulse raising, cheeks enflamed sensation that he knows could lead to him sinking to the ground in a pile of dark clothes and pale skin.

Yet he won't let it happen. Not now. Not ever again with her.

Instead he holds tight to that sensation, reveling in it as he revels in her.

The feels of soft skin against his fingertips, the taste of her on his lips. His tongue brushing against hers, sensations that are still so new to him and yet he doesn't think will ever grow old. Savoring that moment, even as his mind races, wanting more, needing everything, and yet wanting nothing more than to savor what he has right now. The woman he loves.

The kiss barely breaks, his teeth lightly grazing her lip as he fights for a soft breath. He'd give up breathing entirely, if he could, just to keep kissing her.

[shadowthief]

The invitation is met, eager and hungry to explore and, Saints, she's dizzy. A soft sound escapes her throat as her tongue tangles with his, one hand sliding up along the back of his neck so she can lose her fingers in his hair.

He breaks the kiss, but he lingers so close, all she can do is breathe him in. "I..." A grin spread widely across her lips as she tries to think through the haze in her mind. She can't even finish the barely-started statement for the cloud of want still taking up all her focus.

Her lips roll together in a gentle press as she takes an almost cautious glance around– useless, she knows, they're in the middle of nowhere, at the edge of the city... no one else is here. "Can I... just- try something?" She can't help it, the image is lodged in her mind and she won't be able to let go of it now.

She looks up at him through her lashes, her fingers curl into the material of his shirt, just a little. "You trust me, don't you?" her voice sounds so small when she asks, like she's terrified the answer might somehow still manage to be 'no'.

[bealufull]

It's intoxicating. Its the only word that Kaz can think of. Not just the ability to share these moments with someone, but to have them with her. With someone that is not just beautiful but smart and deadly and so skilled it is perhaps the most sensual thing about her. At least to him.

Most might be drawn to beauty - and he can't deny that either of those he cares about aren't elegantly beautiful - but they're so competent and proficient its enough to make his heart race.

He arches a brow when she asks if she can try something, head canting slightly to one side. Yet as she goes on, he finds himself curious as much as he's nervous. If only because of taking new steps. But there's only one answer to that question though.

"With my life. I trust you with my life." He pauses and then adds. "More than that I trust you with my money and my empire, which is slightly more important than my life."

[shadowthief]

New, unknown steps are scary as they are thrilling, that's something she knows intimately herself. That he's willing to let her be the one controlling things? Well, that's a gift in itself.

"And I, you, with mine," she assures him, her voice soft and she kisses him, something soft and chaste and short-lived.

She can hear her own heart thudding in her ears still, an electric thrill in her veins. She slides one hand up to curl fingers around his shoulder to steady herself before she shifts in a single, fluid motion from beside him to very suddenly in his lap, a knee on either of side of him.

The flush that rushes to her cheeks would be hidden if not for the lights casting strange shadows and the brightness of the moon. She wants to kiss him, something deeper and more ravenous than the last one, but she's patient, letting him adjust, and watching all those tiny shifts in the feature of his face for any signs that it's too much.