"Yes, it does." Istredd sounds confident about that. He questions the Brotherhood in many ways, he's not very fond of them in the least, but this isn't them telling him things. "I could feel it myself while training, and sometimes even now. Master mages can die if they're not careful too. Channeling Chaos will always be a little dangerous."
It is grasping onto living power, a powerful force, and manipulating it. Istredd rarely feels the danger while using it, but it is why he is cautious rather than flippant about his magic. All of it is precise. He told Wilhelm that it's important to take it seriously. It can always go wrong, for anyone. He doesn't think Academic Magic is exempt from this.
That in itself is a new detail from Istredd. They haven't spoken about everything, that's all. He doesn't pull away, he never minds when Lucifer touches him. In fact, he loves it. It's usually him instigating.
"I know you," he says simply. To Lucifer being called out, to being able to see what he's doing. Istredd would do something similar in order to distract someone, it's just normally with thoughts rather than actions. Except being known isn't simple at all. Not for Lucifer. "I know you're worried." About him and if he's going to break.
He listens curiously to Lucifer's answer and it's true that even now those cracks are rare. Istredd keeps very controlled. Lucifer's seen that he can snap, but it is harder to do than with other people. Perhaps knowing how constant his concern is about magic explains more too. He hums in response and when Lucifer spreads his palms, Istredd reaches forward and takes his hand, that contact taken back.
I want you to see them. I want to see all of yours. There is no end to the things I want when it comes to you, Lucifer. It is partially a concern. Because he feels too much, too strongly. It is easy to scare people off with that. Istredd lifts Lucifer's hand and kisses the palm gently before releasing him.
Keep poking if you want to. I'll let you know if you cross a line. Irritation is fine. He may roll his eyes and push back, but it's all within boundaries that he's fine with. He finds it attractive, he's already said that. But when it crosses into anger, that's a different story. Lucifer knows now that he has a temper with specific triggers. He'd never been so angry with him.
When you knocked me out that night, I was angry because I was afraid you were playing me, it was a game. That I got my hopes up only to be reminded no one could see me and want me. That's a break for free. It's not even one that Istredd could say is over. He may always be a little afraid. And it's not a reflection on Lucifer, that much he wants to be clear. This is his break, his problem.
oh my god sorry for this block of text lol
It is grasping onto living power, a powerful force, and manipulating it. Istredd rarely feels the danger while using it, but it is why he is cautious rather than flippant about his magic. All of it is precise. He told Wilhelm that it's important to take it seriously. It can always go wrong, for anyone. He doesn't think Academic Magic is exempt from this.
That in itself is a new detail from Istredd. They haven't spoken about everything, that's all. He doesn't pull away, he never minds when Lucifer touches him. In fact, he loves it. It's usually him instigating.
"I know you," he says simply. To Lucifer being called out, to being able to see what he's doing. Istredd would do something similar in order to distract someone, it's just normally with thoughts rather than actions. Except being known isn't simple at all. Not for Lucifer. "I know you're worried." About him and if he's going to break.
He listens curiously to Lucifer's answer and it's true that even now those cracks are rare. Istredd keeps very controlled. Lucifer's seen that he can snap, but it is harder to do than with other people. Perhaps knowing how constant his concern is about magic explains more too. He hums in response and when Lucifer spreads his palms, Istredd reaches forward and takes his hand, that contact taken back.
I want you to see them. I want to see all of yours. There is no end to the things I want when it comes to you, Lucifer. It is partially a concern. Because he feels too much, too strongly. It is easy to scare people off with that. Istredd lifts Lucifer's hand and kisses the palm gently before releasing him.
Keep poking if you want to. I'll let you know if you cross a line. Irritation is fine. He may roll his eyes and push back, but it's all within boundaries that he's fine with. He finds it attractive, he's already said that. But when it crosses into anger, that's a different story. Lucifer knows now that he has a temper with specific triggers. He'd never been so angry with him.
When you knocked me out that night, I was angry because I was afraid you were playing me, it was a game. That I got my hopes up only to be reminded no one could see me and want me. That's a break for free. It's not even one that Istredd could say is over. He may always be a little afraid. And it's not a reflection on Lucifer, that much he wants to be clear. This is his break, his problem.