"Abraxan magic is safer but it's not instinctive. I prefer my own." Despite it being less 'safe,' it's still his. The Chaos is already inside of him, it's balanced as best as it can be. No amount of safe magic can feel the way that his does.

Being without any magic at all in the Pit was difficult, but it was the way it muted his natural state that hurt him the most. His rare use of magic down there, successfully, was his own too.

It's like ... maybe a comparison would be what feels natural to you as an archangel, compared to what you've trained in separately. Istredd doubts it is exactly the same but that is why it's a comparison. He's thinking of the power inherent in Lucifer, what he feels from him when he's embracing that element or connecting with it.

"I can use both, but the more dangerous side is the right one." Istredd isn't certain if that makes any sense. Technically it's a risk, but Chaos is air to him. Air that could be poison and suffocate him, but he'd still breathe it.