Kell attempts to shrug off any potential concern, but he's not as good at hiding what he feels as he likes to think. There's a brief flash of that old pain, like a knife cutting deep to the bone, crossing his face before it settles into just plain sad.
"I need him too, and he wasn't there. He wasn't the one to come to my rescue."
Kell looks up to Lucifer, sadness gone replace by grim determination.
"Don't get me wrong. He wasn't there because I insisted he shouldn't. We decided this together. I told him myself that I will be fine, and he should go where his skills can make a difference. And I was right. He did. He's just that good."
Kell lets out a short laugh. Not a happy one. No.
"I wanted him to drop everything and come save me. I wanted him to be the one to find me. I wanted to be more important than anything else. And I haven't told him any of this when we spoke in the Horizon that first time after almost a month that I was able to access it after breaking out of the cave. He'd probably do this. He would have dropped everything."
Probably. It's unfair for him to ever doubt Rhy. He had never given him any reasons for that. And yet...
"Instead, I agreed with him that he should go with the other team. That I know from Viktor you were coming, and I'm perfectly fine with it. That it is the right thing to do. That all those that stayed in that horrid cave needed his negotiation skills more than me wishing he'd just hold my hand. Because they did! And we will see each other in Nocwich, I just needed to wait a little longer. Surely, I could manage that."
It felt like stabbing yourself with a knife, over and over, and over again.
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Kell attempts to shrug off any potential concern, but he's not as good at hiding what he feels as he likes to think. There's a brief flash of that old pain, like a knife cutting deep to the bone, crossing his face before it settles into just plain sad.
"I need him too, and he wasn't there. He wasn't the one to come to my rescue."
Kell looks up to Lucifer, sadness gone replace by grim determination.
"Don't get me wrong. He wasn't there because I insisted he shouldn't. We decided this together. I told him myself that I will be fine, and he should go where his skills can make a difference. And I was right. He did. He's just that good."
Kell lets out a short laugh. Not a happy one. No.
"I wanted him to drop everything and come save me. I wanted him to be the one to find me. I wanted to be more important than anything else. And I haven't told him any of this when we spoke in the Horizon that first time after almost a month that I was able to access it after breaking out of the cave. He'd probably do this. He would have dropped everything."
Probably. It's unfair for him to ever doubt Rhy. He had never given him any reasons for that. And yet...
"Instead, I agreed with him that he should go with the other team. That I know from Viktor you were coming, and I'm perfectly fine with it. That it is the right thing to do. That all those that stayed in that horrid cave needed his negotiation skills more than me wishing he'd just hold my hand. Because they did! And we will see each other in Nocwich, I just needed to wait a little longer. Surely, I could manage that."
It felt like stabbing yourself with a knife, over and over, and over again.
"So you see, silly."