You have no idea how safe it was playing. Istredd smiles, shaking his head. At one point the extent of my fantasizing was holding your hand, maybe a kiss if I was very lucky. He didn't think Lucifer would be open to any of this, so yes this is thrilling and strange and he likes all of it. He still is just grateful to have any of it. Any touch, any look, any smile. It's exceeded expectations.

"You could have rejected me and I would have never brought it up again." That is definitely what Istredd expected. That is why the kiss made him genuinely shocked. They've gone over the reasons why that probably wasn't the best first kiss in terms of feelings and complications, but the feelings behind it were real. Istredd looks ahead and not at Lucifer. Ten feet and no looking.

It was because you let me touch you, I started to have hope. Not only that night but also before during their reunion, when he cupped Lucifer's face for the first time and Lucifer let it happen. He didn't pull away. They were intimately close like that for the first time. From there it was only a matter of time.

Unrequited love is the worst. You'll never have to know what that's like, luckily.