"I think maybe another year. But in the situation we're in here? Something insane happens every few months so there would probably be other times when emotions ran too high."

It needed a catalyst, that much is clear. A reason for them both to be upset and vulnerable enough to cross lines and not stop. The Pit was an obvious one, but he thinks something like the gods a second time could do it, there were other ways he could slip his guard and try to cling to Lucifer. The inevitability of confession is the point.

"I wasn't able to stop it. I tried." He did. Logic it away, remind himself that their friendship was too precious, reminded himself daily that Lucifer wasn't interested as he self-proclaimed. It was an active effort to let it go so he could move on with his life. And none of it worked. Love for him is useless to fight against.

He squeezes Lucifer's hand. "Remember when I told you that no one ever prioritized me, until you?" He said it while explaining how much it meant to him that Lucifer would pick him over revenge against Dean, that Yennefer would not do that, no one would. Istredd is used to be overlooked. "Sorry to be sentimental, but this thing we have? It's everything I wanted for myself." And something no one else could provide him, or wanted to provide him.