[ it would be simpler to leave it be, move on without a word and let caution be a quiet schism in their friendship forever after. With many people, most people, Cas would be fine with that. He rarely feels a need to explain himself to those outside the brothers, his family.
But Geralt’s been more than that to him. Not only a reliable ally or trusted companion in battle, but a friend, a confidant. Castiel's gone to him with sensitive issues and personal crisis, and Geralt obliged him with conversation and valuable advice. He’s shown him kindness and empathy, and Cas owes him more in return. The relationship genuinely matters to him, and he’s relieved it’s meant enough to Geralt that he finds it worth sparing the words. ]
Of course, I understand. [ framed in the sense of family, it's impossible not to. Cas was as subtle as an anvil to the face in what he's willing to do to protect his own, and he couldn’t expect anything less from a father fearing harm to his child. ] You did what's right by your family.
[ Cas quietly accepts the key back from him, casting a critical all over the curves of it in his palm as his distant, celestial-machine mind tick tick ticks away in thought. in truth, letting go of the pettiness and uneasy edge in him, cas knows geralt did exactly what's expected. all geralt saw was ciri and all cas saw was dean. he can't blame the witcher. that determination and loyalty in protecting his people is a large part of what cas respects in him. ]
Dean's sacrifice isn't something I'm capable of accepting, but I would never wish harm on Ciri. I regret it put us at odds. [ he’d rather his mind sorted through his mess of memories faster, or that his de-escalation skills expanded past 'overwhelm and subdue', or there’d been a single moment to cool his desperation before the fight. There’s better ways it could have happened, but at the same time, Cas knows his track record when it comes to Dean Winchester. He's a mechanical core, hyperfocus and drive of an eternal being programmed to latch onto a singular, clear purpose and throw every wisp of its essence into serving it. before superfluous things like love and family were more than a mash of inelegant syllables to his lizard brain, it was clear what that purpose became when he fell from Heaven for Dean's sake. play at human all he likes, cas is still an angel, and angels remain their own brand of monster.
there's no reality where he wouldn't have fought geralt tooth and nail to protect whatever shadow of dean was left in that demon. he can't give a sincere apology for that part, but it never should've come to that at all, if he'd done things right. There's plenty of other missteps he took. ]
I should have contained him before the Mark endangered your family. I'm sorry.
[ forget that he didn't have the power, the time, the access once they were in the pit - none of those things negate the fact he failed and nearly cost Geralt his daughter. ]
no subject
But Geralt’s been more than that to him. Not only a reliable ally or trusted companion in battle, but a friend, a confidant. Castiel's gone to him with sensitive issues and personal crisis, and Geralt obliged him with conversation and valuable advice. He’s shown him kindness and empathy, and Cas owes him more in return. The relationship genuinely matters to him, and he’s relieved it’s meant enough to Geralt that he finds it worth sparing the words. ]
Of course, I understand. [ framed in the sense of family, it's impossible not to. Cas was as subtle as an anvil to the face in what he's willing to do to protect his own, and he couldn’t expect anything less from a father fearing harm to his child. ] You did what's right by your family.
[ Cas quietly accepts the key back from him, casting a critical all over the curves of it in his palm as his distant, celestial-machine mind tick tick ticks away in thought. in truth, letting go of the pettiness and uneasy edge in him, cas knows geralt did exactly what's expected. all geralt saw was ciri and all cas saw was dean. he can't blame the witcher. that determination and loyalty in protecting his people is a large part of what cas respects in him. ]
Dean's sacrifice isn't something I'm capable of accepting, but I would never wish harm on Ciri. I regret it put us at odds. [ he’d rather his mind sorted through his mess of memories faster, or that his de-escalation skills expanded past 'overwhelm and subdue', or there’d been a single moment to cool his desperation before the fight. There’s better ways it could have happened, but at the same time, Cas knows his track record when it comes to Dean Winchester. He's a mechanical core, hyperfocus and drive of an eternal being programmed to latch onto a singular, clear purpose and throw every wisp of its essence into serving it. before superfluous things like love and family were more than a mash of inelegant syllables to his lizard brain, it was clear what that purpose became when he fell from Heaven for Dean's sake. play at human all he likes, cas is still an angel, and angels remain their own brand of monster.
there's no reality where he wouldn't have fought geralt tooth and nail to protect whatever shadow of dean was left in that demon. he can't give a sincere apology for that part, but it never should've come to that at all, if he'd done things right. There's plenty of other missteps he took. ]
I should have contained him before the Mark endangered your family. I'm sorry.
[ forget that he didn't have the power, the time, the access once they were in the pit - none of those things negate the fact he failed and nearly cost Geralt his daughter. ]