abraxaslogs | Set my sights on the setting sun

Why would I? I am grateful she was here and I will remain grateful even though she is gone.

Why should I consider a higher power's purpose?

Because she's gone. Because we've known that we have no power, not really, but this is the biggest sign that we can't control anything!

[Waitaminute.]

What higher power?

[ hm. elrond weighs his words. ]

There is something here. I saw glimpses . . . during the kidnapping. I assumed that is what you were referring to, when you asked why.

[Josselyn wanted those glimpses. Josselyn thought it would link them to them to the gods. Josselyn wanted whatever connection the Summoned had.

A flash of darkness crosses his expression, there and gone.] Whether it these gods, or the Singularity, or maybe even Thorne itself--you never once thought to question why they--[A slip.] why your 'dearest friend' was torn away from you? That's the exact time to question a 'higher power'!

[ elrond frowns, his expression tightening. ]

That seems like a way to flagellate one's self as you get buried in a spiral of hate, anger and grief. If there is a reason, I will find it, but I will not destroy myself to do it.

I am not the center of Galadriel's world either. She has a home. And purpose. Mine is here for now, to help.

[He's surprisingly very skilled at self-flagellation, thank you.] If you don't dare to question your surroundings you become part of the problem. [They've already talked before about Lucifer's view on faith. That hasn't changed.

But that last bit. 'To help.' Really gets a chuckle outta him.]

You still think you were brought here for a reason? Or is this some I'll-Do-What-I-Can-While-I'm-Left-Behind nonsense?

Questions are one thing. Drowning in them is another.

[ elrond shakes his head slowly. ]

You seem to fixate strongly on the reasons. Have you not found your own?

[Man he forgot how much he didn't like the perception on this guy.

And yet some things he missed, so there's that.] Of course I have reasons. But what's having reasons matter if everything is temporary? I've found a place I want to stay and I don't have the control over this to make it work out.

[ ah. elrond softens slightly. ]

You feel powerless so you are lashing out at me. Just like last time. But you wish to have some of my calm.

You know! I really don't like you!

It's one thing you all getting kidnapped--that was machinations of this world. It was people. We know the why-it-happened behind it. At least five people have vanished from Thorne alone over the last few months.

Of course I feel powerless!

[ gently. ]

As we all do. We all feel that. But there is no right answer, no special way to give you peace. And that is what you need to confront.

[:||||||]

How can you just accept everything that happens to you?

[ ah. elrond pauses. ]

Acceptance gives me room to love and live better. If I remained angry over my losses. And I have lost my fair share. As a child, my home was burned to the ground. My mother flung herself into the sea. My twin and myself were raised by our captors. Our father — [ elrond quietly sighs. ] — is another story.

I am not saying it is acceptable or right. But I choose to focus on what is front of me rather than turn my back on it.

[People know not to ask Lucifer about his Father so weirdly that is a topic Lucifer doesn't press.]

So you're not at all angry about the pit, and the ritual they put you through, using you all as means to an end?

[Elrond already figured out why Lucifer was lashing out at him so the continued ebb and flow of it shouldn't really be that surprising.]

[ elrond smiles faintly. ]

To be honest, the fear and the pain was enough without kindling myself in righteous anger.

[That actually cuts through his attitude.] ... Ain't that the truth. [From the things he's heard about what happened, and even then he cut himself off from learning too much. It isn't like he could do much.

He's got no actual words of wisdom. He isn't the type to say 'I'm sorry for your loss' and he doesn't have some snappish comment to make about a raccoon being missing too (long story, don't ask).

So he just. Sighs.]

[ hm. ]

Sometimes, our well being takes priority.

[Ha.] Yeah, I wouldn't go that far, but I suppose I've started to learn that to some degree. [Which is. Frankly hilarious.]

It must have taken a while.

It's been... [He holds up a hand to tally off fingers... and then clears his throat when he has to hold up a second hand and okay so maybe it has been longer than he exactly realized. In his defense.... Josselyn's whole scheme blurred out a lot of Lucifer's sense of time and people.] ... ah, seven months since [Lucifer took off] we last talked. That used to not be any time at all for me, but here we are.

Here we are.

[ elrond is gracious enough not to mention the events of last time. ]

You seem well, despite the losses.

None of the ones from Thorne really impacted me. One could have become something like a friend that I hadn't expected [because it was happening rapidly, and most of the people Lucifer calls 'friends' have taken long stretches of time] there was one though from Free Cities. We had a fraught relationship back home, apparently--I never met him by my time--but he was gone from here before we could actually try for... anything.

[He shrugs. The kid was never more important than what he could mean for Lucifer.] Overall better than to be expected though.

[ ah. elrond prods gently. ]

So you are angry over the missed opportunity. What could have been a turning point.

Something like that. [Mostly not though. It's Complicated. And Lucifer rarely needs a reason to be angry.] 'What might have beens' are a waste of energy. [Says the devil still tired over it.] Angry at the real possibility of what we can lose, however...

Possibility is possibility, real or not. Some of it can be directed elsewhere.

But we also decide what to do with those possibilities.

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