abraxaslogs | If I think too hard about what we're doing I'll feel really bad about it (Open/Closed)

"Sort of. We're just a bit confined in where we can go. Not as I blame them, it's kind enough they let us come as they do."

Mat knows there's no obligation. The folks here needn't let them visit, let alone once a month. It's a kindness. And he has no trouble finding things to do. The change in scenery alone is worth it. Not to mention the break from the summer heat.

He laughs a bit.

"Well, I am not a complete cad and wanted to at least buy you a drink and chat first. Nor do I like to simply assume, that's a shitty thing to do. A lady's attention doesn't necessarily mean a lady's carnal interest." Or a fellow's, for that matter, but they aren't exactly speaking generally at the moment. Abby's attractive and seems to have an agreeable nature, and he assumes since she's having fun with Jesper that she does not hold sex and romance sacred. But that's not a guarantee she wants to fool around with him.

"Some folks lose the stars in their eyes when the music stops."

"Our world is really good at just piling on one shitty expectation after another." It felt like someone had to say it, no matter how obvious it was. Naming the monster that fucked them over. Him for his orientation, her for her appearance.

"We may not be in our world, but our world still kinda keeps fucking with us. There's no heavily shopped influencers here, instead people are just naturally airbrushed and fucking naked." She couldn't speak to how his manifested, other than maybe it was the reason he called himself stupid over and over again after making out with someone he just met thinking it might be something. "And no amount of being told otherwise really puts away that voice? The voice of a million faceless assholes telling you what you are. Jesper and his friends can't really get that, so I haven't tried to explain it."

"Putting on a mask maybe let you forget the little parts of yourself holding you back. I wasn't worried about all the ways I wasn't good enough at being a lady. My swearing, my drinking, my-" Abby looks down at herself, eyes not quite landing on any one part of her. "Me. So I could just walk up to people and flirt."

"I also wasn't worried about how I'm so fucked up I can't ever see myself in love," She rocked a little in her seat eventually leaning back to stare at whatever passed for a sky out here. "Sorry about that too, even if I was a boy I wouldn't be boyfriend material. My parents fucked me up way too good for that ship to sail. You should hang onto thinking love is out there though."

She assumed, to feel the betrayal that he did over it meant he felt there was some future denied him. Which she'd never considered, because there was no romance in her future. She was, at best, a regular fuck and nothing past that. One of her was more than enough sadsacks for this place.

"So they want to see us, but don't want us to make ourselves at home. Complete opposite of the Feywilds then." This world had a lot of politics and Abby really didn't want to deal with any of them. But here she was, dealing in politics.

She sips her drink, puzzling over the taste as she generally didn't go for sweet drinks. Mostly because alcohol was 'what they raided from parents' and here was 'whatever was cheap.' But not bad.

"Well, you're a hot musician, so it'd be criminal if I wasn't interested," Abby's reluctant to frame why she's got a personal weakness to musicians. But it is a part of the factors at play. And candor seems overall the right path. "And Jesper likes you, which is a pretty good suggestion of what kind of guy you are. As for my carnal desires, I don't fucking know. I've had sex with one person and it was pretty great."

The ever-so-slight smile, one that's very much knowing, suggests Mat should be aware of exactly how good his own boyfriend is at sex.

"Getting to know someone else my age by talking? Great. Making out? Sure. Fucking? Dunno, I'll have a better idea after one, or both, of the previous items. In either order." Abby shifts a little in her seat, this was all very forward of her, and as much as 'hot musician' did bring out a certain side of her, her own doubts about herself were nagging at the back of her head. "I'm not sure what all my limits are, and I won't really until I try something reckless and a little stupid. And see how I feel after."

"I think they're just a private people." Mat can understand that, coming from a small and insular community.

"Oh, you needn't tell me, I'm well acquainted with how popular attractive young musicians are. I do other things, but it's always the music. And sometimes it's just the music." Without any real interest in the man making it. Which is fine, only he prefers his trysts to at least like him.

"But you're right, if you know Jesper then you've already a rough idea of me! We're very similar fellows. He's a bit more polished than I, but we're just different cuts of the same cloth. With the same healthy libido! But it's not as though the only reason I'm talking to you is in hopes of getting you into bed. Any friend of Jes's is a friend of mine. If you're interested in a bit of fun, fun is to be had. If not..." He shrugs good naturedly.

"I'm having a very nice time having a drink and a chat."

"Even if they weren't, opening up spaces to us feels like asking for trouble. Not- specifically us, just summoned." It felt like they were more weapon than people, here. Not that she was a useful weapon herself, but from the stories Julie and Geralt shared. You gather weapons in your home, the neighbors will start to talk.

Abby takes another drink, pauses, and leans forward on her elbows, watching Mat a moment at his comments. That 'cut from the same cloth' thing is bugging her. He doesn't feel the same as Jesper. She assumes they get along, and she'll take his word on the libido thing. But the way Jesper makes the world spin around him does not feel like anything Mat would go for. Still- not really a thing she can put into words, "I'm not going to say I'm unwilling, cause I am. I'm all for fucking enjoying myself."

"Just-" She takes another sip from her drink, leaning back and rolling the words around in her mind. She wants to appear cool so the goal is to not sound like a scared little girl. As anyone into that is not a person she wants to fuck. "I might only be into handies and kissing. Tonight. And definitely only after we finish our drinks."

Nailed. It.

Mat just listens, unbothered by Abby taking her time to find what she wants to say. It all sounds very reasonable to him. 'Fun' meant all sorts of things, sex included. But not sex exclusively.

And as she's given the very clear indication that she is interested, he sees no reason to hold back politely any longer. Particularly when she's set him up so very perfectly.

He leans forward, all eager grin and intently bright eyes.

"Say the word, lovely, and these hands will play your body like a symphony."

There's a slight hint of confusion on her face at the comment at first, but it clicks after a moment that she must need to read lips, "No problem," she smiles, one of her soft, sunshine smiles.

"Inej," she offers in return as she steps into the pool and sinks low in the water. The heat seeps almost instantly into her skin and it's nice. "Have you been here long?"

Fortunately with Inej in the water Bay's ability to check her out diminishes, but it still leaves her wondering why she was doing that. She was staring, she wasn't sure why she was staring, but she was staring. She knew what these feelings were, but the didn't make sense in this context.

"Um, ten minutes or so?" Did she mean in the springs, or in Abraxas. Was it obvious she was Summoned, Inej seemed pretty easily recognized as summoned. The clothes were a bit of an outlier here, "I don't have a great sense of time. I know to get out of the water when I feel all flushed and bothered."

She was already feeling bothered, but not really flushed. So... all sorts of new experiences. Bay brushes her hair up off her neck finally. It doesn't make her feel less uneasy.

See, every so often Abby could convince herself she was cool, confident, and capable of being a real fucking person. And then a guy says something like that to her and she squirms uneasily in her seat. Using her hand to hide the somewhat unhinged smile that forms in response. Did he have to fucking use musical jargon is his metaphor. That seemed fucking excessive, and rude since she spelled out her weakness to it.

"I assume you have a place in mind?" She didn't really plan for any of this. Planning was for nerds, after all. And she was really only suppose to be here to make friends not make friends so such activity was not on the itinerary.

Blissfully, for Bay's sake, Inej wasn't actually aware she was being checked out. Or would it be easier to be confronted about it? Too bad, she has to sit in those feelings on her own for the time being.

"That's as good a signal as any," she admits with a soft smile. "Which faction grabbed you?" it's one of those default ice breakers as Summoned, makes it easy to have a conversation even if you have no other common ground, they all have that much.

So, Bay was watching Inej talk, because that's how lipreading works. Which, you know, would be fine. If Bay didn't get distracted, watching Inej talk, with her lips (as that's a part of the whole lipreading thing). So she doesn't quite react in a timely manner to the question. Still staring. Say something you absolute dork.

Bay places her hand over her chest, index finger up at a 45 degree angle, middle finger pointing down at a similar angle, thumb placed between the two, other fingers closed. She brings it down at the same time she brings up her other hand, palm flat to the water. Then circles the area around her flat arm with that strange hand symbol. She keeps her palm flat to the water after, and with the hand that was in that strange position draws thumb and index finger up, like she's drawing them up over tapered points. A sea of them all the way around her flat arm.

And then she remembers that most summoned don't speak ASL and flushes a little, like maybe she's been in the water too long, and remembers how voices work. There's a sheepishness to her tone she thankfully can't hear, "Thorne."

"I might know a few places."

The twinkle in Mat's eyes and the curve of his grin say that he most certainly knows places. Not that would likely be agreeable for actual sex, but a bit of fooling around? That's not a problem.

And fooling around can be just as much fun as proper sex. It's not about getting off, after all. The lead up is far more interesting and varied. As long as everyone involved enjoys themselves, who cares how far it gets?

"Sometimes the darkness of Nocwich is quite advantageous."

Given that, his boyfriend lives in not Thorne, it doesn't actually surprise Abby he's so ready with a place in mind. And the level of certainty he's showing does put her at ease.

Which is undermined by that uncool giddy feeling this all has. This is a lot closer to what her days should be compared to her and Jesper. Something ill conceived but feels very correct to do in the moment.

Abby finishes her drink, "It is a lovely night for frolicing, isn't it. I suppose you'll lead the way to whatever spot you have in mind."

Inej doesn't know the symbols she's making with her hands, but there is a genuine curiosity in her eyes as she watches Bay's movements. There's meaning to them, even if Inej doesn't know what those meanings are, that much she's sure of. "What was that, exactly?" she tries to mimic the shape she'd seen Bay make with her fingers. "Are you speaking with symbols?" She has never seen sign language before, but it's an intriguing concept.

"Solvunn took me originally, but I moved to the Free Cities..." she trails off, thinking for a moment, surprise in her features, "Well over a year ago now." Strange to think she's been in Cadens quite so long, actually.

"Sign language, it's what I speak naturally. Sorta." Exact details, complicated. Better to keep to what it is and why it is first. Then the metaphysical multiversal nonsense stuff after. As much as Bay has explained that when she first meets people it is a lot to unpack when getting to know her. "Reading lips is a lot more guessing than anything else, so if you can't hear sounds you need to talk another way."

"King," Bay repeats the hand gesture over her chest again, pulling it down slightly like along a sash. "Kingdom," the same move, only now with her other arm laying flat above the water, and looking the hand signal around it, claiming it like a domain. "of thorns." Drawing her fingers together toward sharp points over and over above her still flat arm.

"Why did you move?" It was one of two natural questions, the other being 'that's allowed' but she wasn't quite ready to see what the other countries offered save 'less paranoia' yet. The other was to focus on the time spent here. Which she's met a few people here for a year now and they all seemed very surprised to be here this long.

"It's always a lovely night in Nocwich!"

Perhaps a very easy jest to make, but Mat can't help it. And it's true, this place is lovely and there's something enchanting about the eternal night. Which does make it lovely for a bit of mild trysting. The sort that can be done clothed and without getting chased off by any offended passersby.

"Just follow me."

He offers her his arm as they stand, flashing another grin.

"It has to rain sometimes." Which as she says it, she realizes just gives different opportunities. So many people wear white shirts and that absolutely would be delightful in that weather. She lets the thought linger in her mind a little smile on her face.

She could daintily take his arm and be all lady-like. Or, consider, she could just cling to his arm somewhat too energetically to be anything but excitable. Which is what she goes for because lady-like is for people who don't say fuck as much as she does.

"What about your other date?" Abby nods toward the instrument case. Not that it'll do much help in their plans, she just doesn't know if this is a safe place to stow it while they... enjoy the lovely night.

As she scorns all the impossible standards they're held to, and all the voices that tell you you're not good enough, Wilhelm nods along sympathetically. There's a weariness to it, like his head is heavier just by thinking about all those things. Like it's holding every unflattering headline, every sharp internet criticism, every disappointed look from his mom. He could say a lot about the weight of expectations, but Abby is doing a fine job ripping into it on her own so he lets her go.

Then she talks about love and her incompatibility with it, like her jagged edges could never line up with somebody else's, and his mouth pinches into a frown.

"You don't think there's anybody out there that would want to be with you?"

After a series of disasters in his embattled love life, he has held the same worry. It's not starry-eyed naivete that keeps him hoping that he'll find somebody who can help piece him together and keep him together, somebody who sees all of him and likes him anyway, somebody he can have all to himself. It's loneliness, an ache that the rest of him stretches thin around.

That's a complicated question, she's gotten over some of it. Not- for herself, but she accepts some people have weird tastes and think this is attractive. But her bar for what people want in a partner is set by people she can't compare herself to. She lets the question linger, face a blank wall of consideration.

"Even if there was, I don't think I could trust it. Not- the way I've seen my friends trust it." As much as it felt great when 'Leif' tugged at her heartstrings, or when Jesper and Mat pulled at her other strings a little lower. She never contemplated they loved her. Not romantically. It wasn't an idea she considered. She didn't see herself tied in knots like Max, or staring across the street longingly like Ginny.

"At home, the only relationship that mattered to me was my friends. More than any guy could hope for, more than even my fucking parents. I had three people and they mostly kept me together. And without them I was a fucking disaster." Abby flopped backward, letting out a long breath, "Here I have new friends, I hope they get to that point. For my fucking sanity. I even sorta have a parent now, and I actually care what she thinks of me. But if any guy came at me with romance in mind, I'd assume there was something wrong with him."

She's being a downer, but that's on Wilhelm asking her a downer question. He really should have known better after all of the shit that got them here that she was a fucked up girl. She didn't apologize for this honesty, it was what he asked for, maybe he can use it for a better answer for himself.

"Even the rain has its charms!" What's more thrilling than huddling together in scant shelter, soaked through to the skin... Rain has its charms indeed.

"And fear not, I am on no strict schedule. I play when I play. I'm free to devote my time and attention to you, lovely. Perfectly safe to leave it here, the barkeep'll watch it. She does it every month for me."

Mat leads her around behind the tavern and stalls, down a little dead end alley bathed in shadow and well out of the way. He likes it as there's no doors or other little alleys into it, and it's easy to hear anyone coming if they wander this way.

Well, with his instrument safely stowed and them on their way Abby simply needs to enjoy the building tension in her head. The 'am I really doing this' of it all. With Press she had days to prepare, and very little concern about how it'd go. She'd known that asshole for so long. With Jesper she had a lingering fear it was a long con, and when that was broken it was just the awkwardness of a first time. This- she knew him only through who he knew.

It was terrifying.

She was very turned on.

...She needed therapy.

Abby swings from hanging on his arm to leaning against the wall. Posing, really, this is all meant for her to be seen. Fashion in the Cities lead Abby to dressing much more like a mobster than she ever expected in her life. She dressed casually for the trip, pinstripe slacks and an untucked red sleeveless blouse. There are lines for an undershirt to help keep anything from poking through.

"Here I am, where would you like to start?" How much of this is her playing coy, or she is entirely unsure of where she should start. He offered to play her like a symphony after all. Still, she can maybe start them off. Her casual two buttons undone, becomes a scandalizing five buttons, opening most of her shirt to show her white undershirt, tight against her skin.

She nods a bit at the explanation, it makes sense. She wonders if there is some sort of similar equivalent in Ravka, but... she's never seen it, and she supposes while she's here, there's no way to be sure.

Still. She watches Bay's movements closely as she goes through it again, explaining each piece of it as she does. Then, she tries to repeat it. Her movements are slow, a little staggered, "Do you have signs for the other factions?" it's a genuine sort of curiosity, which translates as much into her eyes as the tone of her voice, which Inej realizes now that Bay can't actually hear.

"My best friend was there. And there was an opportunity for it when the factions had a sort of... peace meeting." The roll of her eyes with those last words is probably plenty to say just how she felt about it. "It isn't always so easy to move," she admits, "I just got lucky."

Bay's smiling warmly through the entire recreation of what she did. It isn't good, but she is trying, which just makes her more attractive.

...Bay has questions as to why that is her takeaway here.

Still, at the question Bay shakes her head. Naming the Free Cities would be easy, but it would also be impersonal, she's never seen it so she has no way to name it accurately other than to just use the name. Solvunn is even harder, it doesn't have words in its name. Or a good pun to use. "I don't really know enough about them to name them. There's a reason I used thorn as a pun in the name. I'd just fingerspell the names."

Which Bay does, at a speed meant for Deaf people. Which is to say her hand moved very quickly, with very distinct shapes, held only as long as it took to make them. She's not expecting Inej to get any of it. The most noticeable movement is on the double letters in each name, which held the letter and dragged it to the right as she signed. The double n in Solvunn, a held fist with her thumb under her first two fingers. And the double e in Free being a more open fist with her thumb resting on the fingernails of her fingers.

"Castle Thorne is tense, all the time." Which is a little worse for Bay since she's already feeling a little exposed there, being stuck working with a new language. Hence hotsprings, which are good for that. "So I guess you did get lucky. I take it the 'peace talks' weren't very good?"

She nods a little as she explains it, it makes sense enough, she supposes, even if she doesn't fully know or understand the naming conventions with signed names. Though when she spells the city names, Inej can barely keep up with the movements of her finger even as hard as she tries and she laughs a little. "Wow, that- how do you do it so fast?" Practice and necessity are the answers there, she figures, but it's still impressive, and the smile on her face probably says as much. Bay's fingers shift shape so easily and there's no disruption in the flow of it.

"From what I've heard, that does not surprise me," and she has heard a lot, and not much good, about Thorne during her time in this world. "A sham, if you ask me. These factions have been on the brink of war for far too long for peace talks to make it all better."

"How fast do you read or write?" It's a language, the flow of fingers from shape to shape, and the flow of a pen from shape to shape aren't that different. It's merely a matter of what one's been doing a lot of in their life. Bay's body has done this for a decade, longer probably. But she can't be sure if having two parents changed her learning to sign from when Daphne learned as a child. And of the two of them Bay's got a better head for language.

Still, Bay repeats the fingerspelling at a more reasonable speed. Just in case Inej is trying to follow. Also, maybe, to keep her attention and keep looking at her because Bay definitely is trying to figure out why her body is focusing on that.

"I don't really know a lot about the Cities or Solvunn," she's uneasy saying Solvunn, and her pronunciation is clearly that of 'girl who has read the name and has no idea how it's pronounced.' She knows the rough politics of Thorne internally, as she would really love it if the College were open to them but no, internal hissy fits with the crown prevent that! "Still, I think I'm where I belong. Having ready access to art supplies and books, and the mages in the castle have answers to help me without some of the devices I use from home."

If I think too hard about what we're doing I'll feel really bad about it (Open/Closed)

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