I would normally just put it in the Horizon, but then when people disappear everything they have does too. It's better to have a physical copy. Maybe I'll figure out a failsafe for it. So it'll be destroyed if the Free Cities tries to snag it.
[ Jesper's very clever, he can probably come up with a way. He could put an enchantment on it that if someone doesn't know a magical 'passcode' it would automatically be destroyed. He will think up something smart. Then there's the reality that it all lives in his head anyway. He hasn't forgotten a single thing that he wrote in that census for Viktor. As Sam playfully knocked on his head only moments before, his mind is a steel trap for details. It's why Kaz tolerated him as his second even when he was out of control.
It's true that they've been there long enough to have an upgrade. It'll take the guilt off them too. He and Wylan still haven't figured out their shit but it's still a two bedroom situation. In general, them all being kind of involved, it could be a mess or it could all work out. The Crows are pretty good at working out their stuff as a team, if not their shit independently.
He raises his eyebrows at Sam's words and frowns. He wants to refute it and pretend he doesn't know what Sam's talking about, because he could do that, about how they were the ones who suffered and he was just on the outside doing his thing. Jesper doesn't know entirely how much Sam is aware of what he did during that time because frankly he doesn't remember all of it. Talk about a trauma response. He knows some of it was public. It would be impossible to miss the viciousness of which he killed every acolyte that he saw when they were chasing the escapees.
If the blood he spilled was on actually on his hands, he could drown in it. And he was still ready to kill the rest of them too. Jesper was all for execution and he's even given some thought to finding them. Wherever they were sent to for prison. Finding them and taking them out one accident at a time.
He may be young but he's far from innocent. But that is where Jesper's mind was during that whole thing. He's quiet and doesn't reply right away, deciding whether or not to even address it. Jesper's expression tightens and then hardens, gray eyes sharp.]
She was taken prisoner by our enemy back home, because of me. He almost broke her legs. We separated when we were looking for Kaz here, so I didn't have her back. That's two that's on me, and I don't want to hear how it isn't, because it is.
[ It's on the people who captured them, and on fucking Van Eck, yes, but it was Jesper's job to be her partner. She loves him and he loves her, and he shouldn't have let them separate. It was stupid, reckless. They didn't know people were still being captured at that point, but it didn't matter. Inej had to suffer through the same experience because Jesper wasn't good enough and he can't fathom any other mindset. ]
I've killed before. [ He doesn't say how much. He still cares what Sam thinks about him. ] But I've always held myself to the standard of doing it because I have to, not because I want to.
[ If Sam has fought beside Jesper before he probably already knows that his choices are deliberate. He'll shoot hands or feet, or knees or shoulders, to disarm people, but he doesn't go for the kill. 9/10 times he will always shoot to injure and considering how precise he has to be just to keep someone alive, he takes it seriously. ]
no subject
[ Jesper's very clever, he can probably come up with a way. He could put an enchantment on it that if someone doesn't know a magical 'passcode' it would automatically be destroyed. He will think up something smart. Then there's the reality that it all lives in his head anyway. He hasn't forgotten a single thing that he wrote in that census for Viktor. As Sam playfully knocked on his head only moments before, his mind is a steel trap for details. It's why Kaz tolerated him as his second even when he was out of control.
It's true that they've been there long enough to have an upgrade. It'll take the guilt off them too. He and Wylan still haven't figured out their shit but it's still a two bedroom situation. In general, them all being kind of involved, it could be a mess or it could all work out. The Crows are pretty good at working out their stuff as a team, if not their shit independently.
He raises his eyebrows at Sam's words and frowns. He wants to refute it and pretend he doesn't know what Sam's talking about, because he could do that, about how they were the ones who suffered and he was just on the outside doing his thing. Jesper doesn't know entirely how much Sam is aware of what he did during that time because frankly he doesn't remember all of it. Talk about a trauma response. He knows some of it was public. It would be impossible to miss the viciousness of which he killed every acolyte that he saw when they were chasing the escapees.
If the blood he spilled was on actually on his hands, he could drown in it. And he was still ready to kill the rest of them too. Jesper was all for execution and he's even given some thought to finding them. Wherever they were sent to for prison. Finding them and taking them out one accident at a time.
He may be young but he's far from innocent. But that is where Jesper's mind was during that whole thing. He's quiet and doesn't reply right away, deciding whether or not to even address it. Jesper's expression tightens and then hardens, gray eyes sharp.]
She was taken prisoner by our enemy back home, because of me. He almost broke her legs. We separated when we were looking for Kaz here, so I didn't have her back. That's two that's on me, and I don't want to hear how it isn't, because it is.
[ It's on the people who captured them, and on fucking Van Eck, yes, but it was Jesper's job to be her partner. She loves him and he loves her, and he shouldn't have let them separate. It was stupid, reckless. They didn't know people were still being captured at that point, but it didn't matter. Inej had to suffer through the same experience because Jesper wasn't good enough and he can't fathom any other mindset. ]
I've killed before. [ He doesn't say how much. He still cares what Sam thinks about him. ] But I've always held myself to the standard of doing it because I have to, not because I want to.
[ If Sam has fought beside Jesper before he probably already knows that his choices are deliberate. He'll shoot hands or feet, or knees or shoulders, to disarm people, but he doesn't go for the kill. 9/10 times he will always shoot to injure and considering how precise he has to be just to keep someone alive, he takes it seriously. ]
But I really wanted them all to die.