abraxaslogs | ( catch-all ) the more that i see myself

[Nice try Hilda. One hand just reaches out and catches the pillow.

Then there's the I'm disappointed in you sigh.]

I won't insist on details, but I would like to at least know the extent of your injuries so I can try and help out with the Hall where I can.

[ Not the I’m disappointed in you sigh. She hates that sigh for a number of reasons and another one seems to added to the list: when it comes from him specifically.

Her cheeks bloom at the palpable worry layered on top of the disappointment in the air. The latter makes her skin crawl while the former only serves to make her feel guilty about trying to dodge this series of questions for as long as she has. Reluctantly she lowers the blanket from her neck, revealing the wrap of bandages around her throat. She’d lift her nightgown if she didn’t think it would completely scandalize him to show the bandages that were wrapped around her torso. At least she can start with her throat because it’s the easiest thing to show without needing to say it aloud. She’ll work her way up to it but there’s more important things at hand right now. ]

You don’t have to go to the Hall to help out. I’m sure the team has it covered and you’re already busy as it is.

[He's good at being a disappointed parent, what can he say?

Alucard's naturally pale, so no color goes from his face as Hilda lowers the blanket. The bandages around her throat are alarming in and of themselves and need no additional commentary from him. He can imagine that there's more.

So extensive. The word he wants is extensive.

He exhales slowly.]

I can provide coverage. And I do stand by my remark about being impressed, it is a remarkable thing. Do your friends need to take a day for themselves? [He can take over for a few hours is what he means to say.]

[ Her cheeks are working on overtime for the both. Pointedly her gaze is looking back down at her hands instead of at Alucard as she huffs in - what? Embarrassment? Shame? ]

My ribs and throat would argue that this isn't remarkable. What would be really remarkable is fighting a dragon and not getting hurt.

[ Which clearly didn't happen for her.

The thought of giving Sylvain and Claude some time away from their self-appointed vigil does sound appealing even if it's at the expense of Alucard having to take that it up instead for several hours. ]

They need a break even if they won't admit as much.

[ Speaking from her minimal experience, caring for people is exhausting both physically and mentally even if they're asleep half of the time. ]

But they haven't listened to me. If you can convince them that I'm not going to perish if I'm left alone, you're welcome to try.

Hilda, you're not dead and you can recover from these injuries. [He simply pauses in his axe polishing, giving her a level and slightly judgemental stare.] Not being dead counts for quite a lot, you know.

[No part of Alucard is shocked that Hilda's companions are refusing to admit they need a break. No one would, in this situation. He'll address it a little later when he pops his head out, but the offer will absolutely be made.]

Do you think they'd respond to bats chasing them out of the house?

I’d rather not count anything to do with that fight, especially almost dying.

[ The truth slips out, mostly indignant, sort of snappy, and clearly a sign that she doesn’t want to talk about it more than she has to. But somewhere underneath that is a deep rooted fear that had been following her since December.

In all of the nightmares she’d had after Petra told her that she hadn’t made it through her version of the war, having her throat split open by a dragon hadn’t been one of the scenarios. Just when she thought her recurring nightmares had ended, they just had to go and rear their heads again.

Realizing what she’s done she deflates again, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes briefly. ]

I’m sorry.

[ She tries to move past it which is easy considering Alucard offers up a very silly suggestion. She laughs into her hands and by the time she looks up she looks genuinely amused. ]

It’s hard to say. We’ve never had bats in the loft before. I wouldn’t want you being hit by a broom or magic or anything but [ Her eyes sparkle mischievously. ] I think it would hilarious to watch personally.

[Alucard would like some credit for having his reaction being wholly understated here. He accepts what Hilda says about almost dying with no wide eyes or sharp gasps. Only a nod of acknowledgement and a very dry:] All the more reason I stand by the previous statement.

[Not dead means the world. It also feels like permission to place the axe aside for a few moments and sit himself at the edge of Hilda's bed, offering out his arm to squeeze if needed. Apology accepted.]

I can deal with a few broom swats. When you're a little more mobile, I'll go about it. No one is not surprised by the whole event.

[ The lack of reaction - even if it’s a sassy lack of reaction - means more to her than he’ll know in that moment. She’s had a shocking (but objectively understandable) amount of fussing and sitting in her own woes that she’s beginning to learn there is such thing as too much attention.

Alucard’s shift of seat and offered arm are met with a brief pause before she reaches for it, giving him a grateful squeeze that hopefully will at least convey some of her gratitude. A pout forms on her face that has nothing to do with his gesture and more to do with a rain cheque for next time. ]

Aw, please? I could set up right by the door or something. Think about how funny that would be.

[Congratulations on hitting the brick wall of attention Hilda. That is remarkable to achieve.

His arm remains where it is. Just in case it is needed a little later on.]

...Hm. I think we'd need to foreground it a bit for the whole ruse to be effective. Keep fussing that they need to take a break. Offer names of those who could fill in, that sort of thing. Then bats.

[ The jury is out on that one. She'd rather go back to being a spoiled little thing, thanks very much.

When he doesn't draw his arm back, Hilda doesn't think much about it. If he isn't going to remove it and if there isn't any sign of discomfort, she isn't going to remove her hand either. She's always been tactile but she never wants it to be at the expense of others.

A mischievous sort of light mixes into her eyes. ]

I could make that happen. The way you say that makes it sound like you've done it before. Was it bats the last time too? Or was it your wolf form?

[He's just gonna keep being a physical thing to gently squeeze for whenever it is needed, it seems. Alucard can take that. He's gotten so much better about people and physical contact over the past two and a bit years now.

Good. Scheming seems to have helped.]

Oh, I've never done it before. I just understand structure. Architect and all.

[He shrugs, stating it all so calmly and matter of factly that he absolutely should not be trusted. But he's a drama queen, so that means it'll work.]

[ Thank goodness for that because she isn't about to let go any time soon.

The scheming is definitely working. She's looking far perkier than before, and there's a brightness to her eyes. His confident delivery of the line is enough to make her laugh properly though. Despite the obvious roughness to her laugh, there's a hint of her old self still shining through. ]

What does architecture have to do with scaring people as a cloud of bats? Either way, I'm honored that your first time is going to be with me.

You have to build to it, obviously. [Bad, bad joke. Alucard rushes right past it.] Bats, in and of themselves, are just a random ocurance and won't get you what you want which is an extended break. They'll just call someone to get rid of the bats. Bats after a protracted argument about taking a break is a sign that they need to take a break.

[There's a gentle shrug, as if this is all terribly straight forward.] Think you can pull your part off?

[ Oh. Oh no. She's heard some bat jokes in her time, but that one has to be up there with them. Alucard might have rushed right past that one but she doesn't, her expression falling flat almost immediately. ]

Of course I can pull it off. I have so much energy from doing nothing and acting scared because bats suddenly appeared in my room shouldn't be that hard.

[ This little prank is something she's still on board with, but she can't help but pause feeling like there's some sort of hole in the plan. Her mouth settles into a small pout. ]

What's going to stop them from grabbing me and running though? With all the hovering they've been doing I don't think they're about to just leave me alone if there are bats in the loft.

I could block them from doing so. Or just close the door and have you lock it from the inside.

[They can play fast and loose with details on this, probably. Alucard is glad to have found a good and deeply silly thought to occupy Hilda at any rate. That's a victory.]

Or I can at that point be people shaped and bodily remove them from the house.

[ Hilda's used to having to think on her feet but she would be lying if she said that she'd prefer to at least have some idea of what was going to happen when she isn't particularly mobile and still at the mercy of her hover wyverns.

Is she still entertaining this idea seriously? Hard to say, but it's definitely boosting her mood. The pout dissolves, giving way to a teasing smile. ]

If they never forgive me for this will you take responsibility and take care of me, Adrian?

Yes, I will.

[There's no hesitation in the response. Only calm confidence.]

And if anything comes up in the future.

[ Hilda had obviously been joking when she had asked him to take care of her. She knows it's obvious to the both of them that she had been specifically speaking to the several hours after whatever came from their little prank - but Hilda's joking smile falters slightly at the confidence of Alucard's words.

Well. She hadn't been expecting that.

It's definitely not something she should read into because as she reminds herself, it was just a joke. And there's definitely nothing that Alucard meant by it either because again, it was just a joke. Internally Hilda rights herself. ]

I'm holding you to that. But maybe before it gets too exciting, could we just cuddle a bit? I don't mind if you're in your wolf form. [ She's not shy about asking. She can already feel the tiredness creep in. ] Acting will probably take a lot of energy.

[It may be a joke. But Alucard just said those words without hesitation, and that means he has a lot to think about for the next few hours. Which he absolutely will do, alongside with the sheer surprise of just being asked to stick around cuddle.

That's like.

Dating things???

Probably????

The thought is easy to put aside for now, as he doesn't have to be a people. That's fine.]

I think I can oblige.

[Which is to say that a few moments later, there is a large wolf in Hilda's bed and that's just how it's going to be for the next few hours.]

( catch-all ) the more that i see myself

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