[ The look on her face causes an ache to flare up in his chest though he reminds himself again of patience, to wait - to not assume what her answer to anything might be. Impossible as it seems to turn off the part of his mind that's forever considering everything at any given time, that's what Claude's willing himself to do.
As the seconds go by, however many of them are before she answers, it feels like an eternity. It aches again that he can't guess what's going through Hilda's mind like he wants to believe he could have just a few months ago, even if the reality is it's far longer than that. The reason for it has been made clear in what's been said and what Claude's still guessing at is trailing behind it for what hasn't yet or whether it ever will be. All he can do is wait and try not to look like this is every bit of feeling like he's balancing on an unsteady precipice where the next step could as easily be the ground crumbling to give way rather than being something solid.
But she answers, and then it's too difficult to not do anything but let hope soar and flood in to fill all the spaces between them as he grips her hands a bit tighter. In the next breath it's tempered by the look on her face because that has to account in this, too; there's been mistakes made in all that miscommunication built up from years and here, and that has to be cleared. ]
I've always wanted you, you know. Always wanted us, even when I spent so long thinking you didn't want me.
[ The urge to reach forward to cradle her face is there but Claude runs his thumbs over the backs of Hilda's hands while still studying her. One step at a time, he reminds himself over and over. Admitting that they both want the same thing - it's something which doesn't feel real despite simultaneously feeling like he's committed those words to memory where they shine as brightly as he'd dreamt they would.
But there's the qualifier with them that was added on right away, and there's what follows it. ]
You're not getting in the way of anything. I- whatever it is I have with Sylvain isn't any kind of replacement or whatever else 'getting in the way' might mean. It's something separate and always has been to me, and it doesn't lessen what I feel about you or change it in any way.
[ Because it's that clear, in his mind, though it's not that he expected Hilda to know this. File it under yet another conversation they should've had with all the other ones wrapped up into this one now, though he stills when something finally clicks into place. ]
That's part of why you've been pulling away, isn't it?
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As the seconds go by, however many of them are before she answers, it feels like an eternity. It aches again that he can't guess what's going through Hilda's mind like he wants to believe he could have just a few months ago, even if the reality is it's far longer than that. The reason for it has been made clear in what's been said and what Claude's still guessing at is trailing behind it for what hasn't yet or whether it ever will be. All he can do is wait and try not to look like this is every bit of feeling like he's balancing on an unsteady precipice where the next step could as easily be the ground crumbling to give way rather than being something solid.
But she answers, and then it's too difficult to not do anything but let hope soar and flood in to fill all the spaces between them as he grips her hands a bit tighter. In the next breath it's tempered by the look on her face because that has to account in this, too; there's been mistakes made in all that miscommunication built up from years and here, and that has to be cleared. ]
I've always wanted you, you know. Always wanted us, even when I spent so long thinking you didn't want me.
[ The urge to reach forward to cradle her face is there but Claude runs his thumbs over the backs of Hilda's hands while still studying her. One step at a time, he reminds himself over and over. Admitting that they both want the same thing - it's something which doesn't feel real despite simultaneously feeling like he's committed those words to memory where they shine as brightly as he'd dreamt they would.
But there's the qualifier with them that was added on right away, and there's what follows it. ]
You're not getting in the way of anything. I- whatever it is I have with Sylvain isn't any kind of replacement or whatever else 'getting in the way' might mean. It's something separate and always has been to me, and it doesn't lessen what I feel about you or change it in any way.
[ Because it's that clear, in his mind, though it's not that he expected Hilda to know this. File it under yet another conversation they should've had with all the other ones wrapped up into this one now, though he stills when something finally clicks into place. ]
That's part of why you've been pulling away, isn't it?