[ Sylvain's finally forced to let her go, if only because he doesn't accidentally want to hurt her by trying to make her stay.
And if that isn't a bit of irony in this situation...
But he watches as she hunches in on herself, arms crossed defensively over her chest and he casts a worried gaze in Claude's direction. Takes in the clenched jaw and the way he buries his head in his hands and for a moment, Sylvain feels his heart sink deeper. Maybe they can't do this. Maybe they've already lost this fight and none of them is willing to raise the white flag and admit defeat. Because of the consequences that will have on all of them.
If he were a better person, a nobler one, he would have taken himself out of this equation already. Because causing Hilda to feel jealous and on the outside isn't what he'd intended, but he's doing it anyway. Even if the thought of distancing himself from either of them makes his heart clench and his chest feel like it's squeezed too tight to breathe. But it would be better for both of them in the long run, wouldn't it?
He doesn't know if it's fortunate or unfortunate, but he's always been terrible at being the better person. He's not. He's not even a good person. The long line of broken hearts and ruined ambitions he'd left behind him in his wake should be proof enough. Even if he'd do anything not to add these two names to the list.
The silence that falls between all of them is heavy and uncomfortable. Claude's words resonating deeply with him, because they're what he wants so badly he can almost taste it, but Hilda...
Either she can't see the same thing, or she won't. Which means this argument is just going to keep going in circles, because she's too deeply tangled in 'what ifs'. He hates those. You never get any good answers by being stuck in perpetual 'what ifs'. If you step onto a battlefield too distracted by all the ways you could potentially die... well, that's just a sure way to see it happen.
So he pushes to his feet, coming to stand in front of her again and reaching out to gently chafe his hands along her arms as he gazes down at her. He's not trying to loom, because that's not the impression he wants to give, but it's a little hard not to when she's so tiny in front of him. But she'd insisted on standing, so here they were. ]
None of us can predict what our feelings will and won't do. None of us have been able to do that this entire time. We can only go with what we know. What we want. And see where that takes us. What I do know? I've wanted you for a long time, Hilda. I thought about it, a time or two, back in Fodlan, but you deserved better than me, back there. You still do, technically, but that doesn't mean I don't want you anyway. In the time we've been here together, those feelings haven't waned or faded at all. I still want you. More even, because I've gotten to know more of the real you.
And I don't want you to pretend to be gracious and kind and soft. That's not the real you, not at your core. Not that you can't be those things, but don't try to squeeze yourself down to fit into only that one box for anyone's sake, least of all ours. I want to see you fiery and stubborn and witty. I want to be the one to hug you when you're sad or crying and need a shoulder to lean on. Or hide against. Or another shirt to ruin. I want to laugh with you and take you out dancing, or maybe lay all night under the stars again just to talk about everything and anything.
But more than that? [ And he takes a step forward, carefully herding her back a step. And then another. His movements a slow, determined prowl, not quite predatory, but there is definitely something confident and sensual in them as he moves her to where he wants her. Back towards where Claude still sits watching them and Sylvain doesn't stop his maneuvering until she either sits or gets toppled back into the other man's lap, where Sylvain can lean over them both, hands braced on the arms of the chair to either side of them. Caging Hilda in between them now.
His voice is low and deep, husky with his seriousness. Hushed now as he leans in close, pressing her back against Claude as he invades her personal space. This is a gamble, but he doesn't know what else to try. He just has to hope Claude will play along. And forgive him if this backfires horribly and blows up in their faces. ]
Even more than that, I want for us to do all that together. I don't want you on the outside looking in, I want you here, in the middle, with us, right where you belong. We could be good, all of us, in any of the pairs we singled off to be, but I think together? Together the three of us could be something even more amazing. We could balance each other out in a way we never could if it was just two of us alone. Understand each other in a way I think all of us need. We've already been doing it, sort of. Unofficially. Ganging up on each other when one of us needs the reinforcement, or reassurance. We're stronger together then we are alone, and I want that to apply to everything.
You're right that feelings don't go away so easily, but princess, I think you're focusing on the wrong feelings. Stop standing in your own way. I'm giving you permission to take what you want. Just like you did that night in the maze. When you didn't let your fear stop you, or your head dictate to your heart what you should or shouldn't do. None of us know what's going to happen tomorrow or the next day or the next week. We might wake up one morning and one of us will be gone. Or all of us. Are you really going to say that this wouldn't be worth it to you to try? In the time we have here together? Because I can pretty confidently say Claude and I want you here - have wanted you here, this entire time. And I don't know how to make that more plain to you.
You can sit there and let your head continue to spin you in circles with all the things that could possibly go wrong, break your own heart, break ours, in the process. But you're not going to find happiness there, and neither are we. So take the risk, Hilda. Take what you want. Try it with us. Let us show you it can work, if you can't find it in you to believe on your own. Let us show you how good we can be.
no subject
And if that isn't a bit of irony in this situation...
But he watches as she hunches in on herself, arms crossed defensively over her chest and he casts a worried gaze in Claude's direction. Takes in the clenched jaw and the way he buries his head in his hands and for a moment, Sylvain feels his heart sink deeper. Maybe they can't do this. Maybe they've already lost this fight and none of them is willing to raise the white flag and admit defeat. Because of the consequences that will have on all of them.
If he were a better person, a nobler one, he would have taken himself out of this equation already. Because causing Hilda to feel jealous and on the outside isn't what he'd intended, but he's doing it anyway. Even if the thought of distancing himself from either of them makes his heart clench and his chest feel like it's squeezed too tight to breathe. But it would be better for both of them in the long run, wouldn't it?
He doesn't know if it's fortunate or unfortunate, but he's always been terrible at being the better person. He's not. He's not even a good person. The long line of broken hearts and ruined ambitions he'd left behind him in his wake should be proof enough. Even if he'd do anything not to add these two names to the list.
The silence that falls between all of them is heavy and uncomfortable. Claude's words resonating deeply with him, because they're what he wants so badly he can almost taste it, but Hilda...
Either she can't see the same thing, or she won't. Which means this argument is just going to keep going in circles, because she's too deeply tangled in 'what ifs'. He hates those. You never get any good answers by being stuck in perpetual 'what ifs'. If you step onto a battlefield too distracted by all the ways you could potentially die... well, that's just a sure way to see it happen.
So he pushes to his feet, coming to stand in front of her again and reaching out to gently chafe his hands along her arms as he gazes down at her. He's not trying to loom, because that's not the impression he wants to give, but it's a little hard not to when she's so tiny in front of him. But she'd insisted on standing, so here they were. ]
None of us can predict what our feelings will and won't do. None of us have been able to do that this entire time. We can only go with what we know. What we want. And see where that takes us. What I do know? I've wanted you for a long time, Hilda. I thought about it, a time or two, back in Fodlan, but you deserved better than me, back there. You still do, technically, but that doesn't mean I don't want you anyway. In the time we've been here together, those feelings haven't waned or faded at all. I still want you. More even, because I've gotten to know more of the real you.
And I don't want you to pretend to be gracious and kind and soft. That's not the real you, not at your core. Not that you can't be those things, but don't try to squeeze yourself down to fit into only that one box for anyone's sake, least of all ours. I want to see you fiery and stubborn and witty. I want to be the one to hug you when you're sad or crying and need a shoulder to lean on. Or hide against. Or another shirt to ruin. I want to laugh with you and take you out dancing, or maybe lay all night under the stars again just to talk about everything and anything.
But more than that? [ And he takes a step forward, carefully herding her back a step. And then another. His movements a slow, determined prowl, not quite predatory, but there is definitely something confident and sensual in them as he moves her to where he wants her. Back towards where Claude still sits watching them and Sylvain doesn't stop his maneuvering until she either sits or gets toppled back into the other man's lap, where Sylvain can lean over them both, hands braced on the arms of the chair to either side of them. Caging Hilda in between them now.
His voice is low and deep, husky with his seriousness. Hushed now as he leans in close, pressing her back against Claude as he invades her personal space. This is a gamble, but he doesn't know what else to try. He just has to hope Claude will play along. And forgive him if this backfires horribly and blows up in their faces. ]
Even more than that, I want for us to do all that together. I don't want you on the outside looking in, I want you here, in the middle, with us, right where you belong. We could be good, all of us, in any of the pairs we singled off to be, but I think together? Together the three of us could be something even more amazing. We could balance each other out in a way we never could if it was just two of us alone. Understand each other in a way I think all of us need. We've already been doing it, sort of. Unofficially. Ganging up on each other when one of us needs the reinforcement, or reassurance. We're stronger together then we are alone, and I want that to apply to everything.
You're right that feelings don't go away so easily, but princess, I think you're focusing on the wrong feelings. Stop standing in your own way. I'm giving you permission to take what you want. Just like you did that night in the maze. When you didn't let your fear stop you, or your head dictate to your heart what you should or shouldn't do. None of us know what's going to happen tomorrow or the next day or the next week. We might wake up one morning and one of us will be gone. Or all of us. Are you really going to say that this wouldn't be worth it to you to try? In the time we have here together? Because I can pretty confidently say Claude and I want you here - have wanted you here, this entire time. And I don't know how to make that more plain to you.
You can sit there and let your head continue to spin you in circles with all the things that could possibly go wrong, break your own heart, break ours, in the process. But you're not going to find happiness there, and neither are we. So take the risk, Hilda. Take what you want. Try it with us. Let us show you it can work, if you can't find it in you to believe on your own. Let us show you how good we can be.