abraxaslogs | • OPEN •

You're saving me from looking dumb in front of you, so.

[wanda's not a teacher, and she does know that yennefer dabbles in teaching magic in the castle of thorne—or something or another. she wouldn't want to put her own novice skills to be judged.

still, though, despite the self-deprecating comment, she is glad to see her here. sometimes it is a long time before either of them see each other, but there is an infallible connection; when wanda nurtures the world with her magic, or when yennefer meditates... it's not difficult to find one another. getting to see each other in person is just a bonus to that connection.

leaning back, she motions at yennefer to have a seat.]

You look like you've had a good night's sleep.

Oh, you wouldn't though. I don't even know the basics of High Magic.

[ for yennefer it's less of who is a teacher and who isn't, and - always - about the knowledge. whether or not she would be considered a good teacher is probably widely debated. but she can be effective, and she has a lot of information to teach, so.

wanda motions for yennefer to take a seat, and she is quick to take it, probably sitting a bit closer than wanda had motioned towards. but yennefer finds she doesn't feel guilty for it - the connection they share, the time she feels has passed. she craves the touch of the people she didn't miss until she woke up - wanda, among the top few.

at the mention of the night, of her sleep, yennefer's smile... it doesn't fade, exactly, but takes on a new layer. something almost sad, older. because she can't deny she must look better, more in control, more whole. but it hadn't come without its own sacrifice. ] You could say that. The Singularity saw it fit to send me to sleep with dreams of my home sphere. It was... [ yennefer shakes her head, before pausing - remembering, briefly, a time some months back. ] You've experienced it, haven't you?

[something like high magic holds concepts that wanda is sure that yennefer could easily tackle with some general instructions, but that's not why the older woman has come here to find wanda. the closer yennefer gets, after all, the more different she feels,

it's impossible to miss.

and, when she speaks, it becomes clear.

wanda reaches forward with a hand, leaning with elbows on her knees, and reaches a hand out for the other woman's. there's a feeling, just under the skin, of magic that feels more profound than what wanda's felt before (not that she knew it ever was quite missing, but this is certainly unlike before).

green eyes draw upwards to meet purple, her other hand moving to accompany the hold she has with one.]

You feel better.

[the answer to yennefer's question is a rotund yes, but there is understanding without needing to follow a strict sense of questions-and-answers.]

[ possibly. but yennefer doesn't see any reason to learn it herself; not when wanda's taken such a focus to it. no, as far as yennefer's concerned, she is happy to leave this to wanda's attentions and keep her own on thorne's academic magic and - now that her own has returned to her - perhaps a bit more.

but that is a conversation for a later time - for right now, wanda notices it. leans forward and takes yennefer's hand, something that yennefer is more than willing to let her do. the surge she probably feels will be like nothing she's felt before from yennefer, but with hints of something...similar, but not, to istredd's own. they did come from the same sphere, after all. learned to manipulate the same source of chaos.

yennefer's, however, burns much hotter. much more. as wanda's second hand comes to join the first, yennefer wraps her free hand around wanda's as well, the smile growing on her face. ]

Am I that obvious? [ which feels a bit lighthearted, all things considered, but it feels nice to share in some of her joy. ] I do. It's...nice to have it again. To feel it.

Maybe not that obvious to everyone.

[she says lightly, and finds a wealth of warmth in knowing that yennefer has something that was once lost to her. whatever happened in her world to make this possible again might have been something difficult, but it feels worth it—

just to have a part of herself back.

wanda draws her hands away.]

What happened?

[ when wanda pulls her hands away, yennefer shifts over, as if to open the place on the couch next to her for wanda to settle.

they've called each other sisters for so long, and yennefer...finds it surprising how despite the time that's felt to have passed, that feeling doesn't.

she's missed wanda, in that strange way you miss someone in a single night. ]

Ah- well, that's the questions. [ a small huff of a laugh, a shake of her head. ] A couple of nights ago I had visions while I slept, memories of time on the Continent I had not yet lived. When I woke, my chaos woke with me.

[that experience is a familiar one to wanda. there is no science to this, at all, no real explanation as to why it happens to some but not all—only assumptions, suppositions. whatever dreamt experience it was, though, it's clear that it wasn't all too terrible for yennefer though.

at least that is a relief.]

It's like we're catching up with events of our lives back in our worlds.

[that's as easy as she can figure what it could be.]

It's good, though, isn't it—? [rather abruptly,] Any side effects?

[ wasn't all too terrible, no. there is a loss that hangs on yennefer's shoulders like a shawl, something that she isn't convinced will ever leave her, but tissaia's death is not something she feels the need to share with everyone. so, rather than focusing on that, she keeps to the good. the better. the improvements.

wanda's description catches yennefer's attention, before she nods once. ]

Like we're living through the events themselves, over the span of a single night.

[ it's good, though, isn't it? yennefer wishes it was that simple. but maybe some part of it can be. ] Yes. [ and then she's quirking a small smile. ] You mean other than my chaos? No, or rather- nothing I've noticed.

[there are many things about the circumstances in their lives, in these updates, that wanda understands she doesn't get to be privy to. in the same way that the whole story of what she did to the multiverse, to the people of kamar-taj, to her children in another universe is not something she gets to share around with just about anyone.

whatever losses and whatever wins yennefer may have experienced, she gets to share them with whom she wants.

she offers her hand to the other woman.]

Can we try tuning in?

[to get their magics in the same wavelength, so to speak.]

[ really, in this exact moment, it feels less that wanda doesn't get to be privy to, and more that yennefer wouldn't know where to start. there is hardly a single moment in her life that would explain where it is she's come from. perhaps it's simply that she doesn't want to talk about it.

which is something that goes through her head in that moment, as wanda offers her hand. yennefer knows that she could open that channel, that by matching their chaos, their magicks, she could just as easily open her mind to wanda too - the decisions she's made, the things she's witnessed. it would all be there for wanda to see.

even with that thought, yennefer slips her hand into wanda's with a nod. she's not afraid of what she'll show, of what wanda will see, if she decides to go searching. if anything, she's relieved to have the path. her fingers curl around wanda's hand, as she opens the channel, reaches out to find the wavelength. ]

[it's telling, when yennefer breaches the distance between their hands and holds tightly onto hers, that there is trust here that goes beyond could haves and should haves. this is the closest wanda's ever felt to having a proper sisterhood with another witch, and it brings her peace to know that this that she feels is not just from her behalf.

wanda does not also peek further than what she is allowed to, now that there is a channel opening between them.

the essence of their magics crash into one another, but they do not breed destruction. instead, it's like they're getting acquainted with one another, breathing in the same space, becoming attuned to one another. there's no resistance, from either of them.]

It's strong magic.

[she says, after a moment, smiling lightly.

it's a particular magic that she feels at ease with; that she could find the markings of, should yennefer ever scatter her will onto anything or anyone, in the same way that the other woman should, too, be able to recognize wanda's own in any circumstance.]

[ as the magic between them interacts, yennefer feels the tug of it. the interweaving that happens between the two. wanda's magic, her control of her own chaos, it's different than yennefer's own - the force and the movement, the edges and the tone - but it feels so innately wanda that even if yennefer has never felt chaos quite like this, she feels like she's known it for years.

wanda smiles lightly at her, says it's strong magic, and yennefer matches the smile in return. feels her own hands squeeze at the other woman's. ]

Yours, too. [ a small admission that this may be the first time yennefer has truly understood the shape and size of wanda's. before, her understanding had been limited - her senses dulled due to her disconnect from her chaos - but now?

now she understands. now she knows the signature. now she can see what is wanda's and what may or may not be tinged with something else. yennefer doesn't have the background to know what may or may not be the singularity's influence, so she decides not to comment, but there's something curious filtered through there. ]

[within the chaos, there's order—or at least that's how it's supposed to be, in theory. in many ways, the magic that these two women hold seems to be just about refracted from that rule. the order is their flesh and bones, ultimately their control over the magic they can exert.

it can be overwhelming, and perhaps it should be disheartening to think that they carry such power. a double-edged sword, of sorts.

but, in knowing that there is someone else that can wield such powerful magic, that can, too, keep it in check, and who can create a connection nonetheless? it's a relief. wanda has always felt so distant, so unlike everyone around her—everyone but pietro. losing him made her feel even more alone in her experiences, and the reveal that she is a witch, by another witch, only to know that there, too, was reason to treat her like an outcast? like someone to rid the world of? it didn't make it any easier.

this is one of the very few, and first times, that wanda feels like she can belong. not in a place, but with someone else—as far as magic wielding is concerned.

she does not let go of yennefer's hand.]

I used to feel like I was a freak, but that it didn't matter as long as my brother was with me. It's been a while since I've felt like I'm not.

[within this moment, with her.]

[ they are the bringers of order, that is the way it's supposed to be. chaos is the focus and the work around them, the inherent magic in the very air they breathe. without them, it is only that - continued, constant chaos - power existing behind the veil of most human eyes. tissaia had taught yennefer, as well as her sisters, that their control is what brought order to the very air around them, and yennefer had believed that.

( gods it hurts, she wonders how long it'll be before the very thought of that woman doesn't burn her away from the inside out. )

but - yennefer realizes - what she'd had in her less than ideal training was something wanda hadn't. between the words she shares and the feeling that slips through their connection, the loneliness, the isolation. yennefer realizes in that very moment what it is she had with the others at aretuza, what she had even as she fought against it for all those decades. it reminds her of the months in thorne's halls, of the sleepless nights she'd spent, panicked and wary and so, so sure it would all come crumbling down around her.

wanda says freak and yennefer's hand tightens around wanda's. she pulls their joined hands closer to her chest, finding and holding wanda's eyes once she can. ]

Power separates those who wield it from those who don't. It can feel isolating, yes, but you do not need to ever feel alone. We have each other - always. You have me.

Edited 2023-11-30 22:33 (UTC)

[it takes that one solid motion—of yennefer bringing their joined hands closer to her chest—for the emotional vault within wanda to burst open. her expression pinches, lips a thin line as she stirs it to the side, trying to keep her face from betraying her. yet her eyes display what she tries to hide, unblinking, growing blurry and damp with the words curtailed in such a gentle, tender tone.

agatha had taught her so much in those few, short instances, but the witch had wanted to destroy her magically-made family, force wanda to give up her powers, and to label her as a harbringer of destruction.

why could it not have been like this, when she had been at her lowest—when she had needed it the most?]

Sometimes I wish I never had them.

[—her powers.

to live a normal life, like a normal person, to the best of her ability, despite the circumstances. she hates that separation, between herself and ‘normal’, and knows that it will never be. knowing that she doesn’t have to be alone does help.]

I wish this had been what I found when another witch found out about me. [she glances up, eyes green and wet, but not a single tear falls.] I feel like there is so much that I could still learn about being a witch.

[ yennefer doesn't need to see the expression of it, can feel the swell of emotion in the very air. it is why yennefer holds the tightened grip around wanda's hand even now. it is another moment before yennefer decides what it is she wants to tell her, how she won't say even now? or how can you say that? she knows it is still recent for her, having her own chaos back, and that she can't quite empathize with the idea of wishing her magic gone so soon after she just got it back, but-

well. she does know the feeling, at the very least.

it's why with her free hand, she takes wanda's fingers - draws them up her other hand to her wrist, to the scars that remain there even now. yennefer continues to hold wanda's eyes, refusing to let them fall away as she runs wanda's fingers over and across the raised skin. ]

When I was first taken away and forced into my studies, I hadn't wanted it. Not that life, not that power, none of it. I tried to take control in the only way I knew how, but I failed.

[ she recalls even now, the despair she'd felt when she awoke that morning to tissaia standing over her bed. the hatred, the fury, and the simple fact of her own helplessness in such matters. it is something to this day yennefer feels she carries with her, the staunch refusal to ever be that powerless again.

they are not normal, and while yennefer may or may not believe destiny has any say about it, she can't imagine a world where either she or wanda had ever been. doesn't know if she would want to, even if she could. after another moment, yennefer does finally let go of wanda's hands, lifting her palms to the other witch's cheeks and brushing her thumbs along lines where no tears have fallen. ]

My sisters are the reason I am who I am. I cannot change whatever it was that witch did, but I can teach you what I know, as long as I can hope for the same from you. There is no real end to our studies, but you are not alone here. Not in this.

Edited 2023-12-28 02:38 (UTC)

[wanda does not cry because her tears have been shed many a times before over similar matters, but also because there is a tenuous connection made stronger by yennefer's touch. it catches the young witch by surprise, if only because of the tenderness despite the pain that is marked forever onto the other woman's wrist, an eternal reminder of what had come to pass.

abraxas has given wanda many things. amongst them, opportunities; amongst them, the warmth of belonging that she had presently given up on.

it is enough to dry unshed tears. enough to have wanda raise her hands to rest atop yennefer's, as she places her own on wanda's cheeks. to not be alone not just in life, but in learning, might be one of the biggest gifts this place could give her, despite all the adversities. she wants to do better, she wants to feel her magic flow through her and know that it is she who controls it—that she can choose to destroy or heal as she wishes, all with a sane mind.

there's a soft nod of her head, a few times.]

I don't think I'll have top grades as a student.

[she tries, for levity, her lips curving up just a touch.]

—but I do want that. [the community, that knowledge.] I want to continue learning.

I certainly didn't.

[ yennefer's smile mirror's wanda's, the slightest curve, the hint of levity. but there is a weight behind it that confirms it wasn't ever easy. even after she accepted her fate, even after she knew that by learning to control chaos, she was opening up a world she hadn't really ever wanted.

but wanda is right - this place, here, this is something else. this is another chance, another opportunity. yennefer misses her fellow sorceresses more than anything, misses tissaia more than anything, but life does move on. her purpose back home had been to create a place that was safe, to reaffirm chaos' place back on the continent. in many ways, that goal has not changed. instead, her sisters, her family, has merely grown.

wanda's hands are warm where they settle over yennefer's, as she nods, and yennefer rubs at wanda's face once more before finally letting go. ]

Then we will have it, and it will begin with you and I.

• OPEN •

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