bealufull: (ycc8h61)
Kaz Brekker ([personal profile] bealufull) wrote in [community profile] abraxaslogs 2023-11-08 08:17 pm (UTC)

Kaz has learned a lot in their time in this place, in his time since coming naked out of that pool. Things he's learned about himself, that he learned to accept pleasure and the things he had denied himself so long.

He had learned things about Jesper and Inej and himself as well.

He had let them go, thinking that like with so many they would be gone, that they would see a better life beyond him and never return. That he had been a means to an end, just as so many had been to Kaz Brekker.

He knew now though that isn't the truth. Far from it. No matter where they are, that isn't the truth and won't ever be. They're his as much as Kaz Brekker is theirs and has always been. How much he's been Jesper's and Jesper has always been his.

Learning to accept pleasure and love and not be afraid of losing them is something he's worked hard on in a year, and so to have Jesper offer both - both the enjoyment of one another and the work he still finds himself focusing on - it reminds him of just how well Jesper knows him. Perhaps better than all others. Maybe even Inej. Maybe.

For a moment there is no focusing on words, just on how Jesper offers himself and how well together their bodies fit with one another. He slides his hands along Jesper's legs, marveling at the strength, and the nearness between them.

"There needs to be more of a way for all of us summoned to forge our own paths here. Between the lands, governing our own and accepted and seen as our own and not some novelty or a fear to be fretted over. I know many are working on it, but for this to work we have to be able to negotiate as our own people, even if we're offered sanctuary by another."

He smiles at that, smug and loving to hear it and not hiding that.

"Coming from the most beautiful man I know, that's high praise."

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