As acutely attentive as Kaz is, he hadn't let himself truly take in each and every one of those clues. A mixture of uncertainty in the face of being unable to do anything about it and the need to maintain a position of control and power, and he hadn't let himself think about that darkness in Jesper's eyes, the beauty of the boy at his side, and had focused on all he had to be, the things he had to do, all he could have.
And somehow in being dragged to another world, literally kicking and fighting as he was dragged in wet and naked, and it had given everything he'd realized he'd given up. For nothing. There was nothing that was worth more than the way Jesper and Inej loved him... how much he loved them.
And all that Jesper is willing to do and how much he accepts of who Kaz is makes this moment something new and sweet and insanely sexy. Because Jesper isn't pushing for more, he doesn't ask for anything more than Kaz is able to give... and he knows where that line lies and that means so much to Kaz.
"I love you, Jesper. I should have said it sooner than this place but..."
He can't bring himself to stop staring at Jesper, even as he opens the bottle and pours some over his fingers. His gaze slides over the other man, taking in long lines and strong muscles, and unable to help but to become fixated at how skilled hands slid along his cock.
Those words though, they draw a groan from Kaz as he thinks about those moments, ones where he might have seen so much more but hadn't let himself.
Long, nimble fingers brush along the length of his own cock and the sound he makes is positively feral, wild and high pitched.
"Too much. I wouldn't..." He shakes his head, even as he curls his fingers around his cock and the words break off in a moan. His other hand tentatively stroking along Jesper's ankle almost in time with how his hand moves on his cock. "Never seemed the right time and people around and..." He groans Jesper's name softly.
no subject
And somehow in being dragged to another world, literally kicking and fighting as he was dragged in wet and naked, and it had given everything he'd realized he'd given up. For nothing. There was nothing that was worth more than the way Jesper and Inej loved him... how much he loved them.
And all that Jesper is willing to do and how much he accepts of who Kaz is makes this moment something new and sweet and insanely sexy. Because Jesper isn't pushing for more, he doesn't ask for anything more than Kaz is able to give... and he knows where that line lies and that means so much to Kaz.
"I love you, Jesper. I should have said it sooner than this place but..."
He can't bring himself to stop staring at Jesper, even as he opens the bottle and pours some over his fingers. His gaze slides over the other man, taking in long lines and strong muscles, and unable to help but to become fixated at how skilled hands slid along his cock.
Those words though, they draw a groan from Kaz as he thinks about those moments, ones where he might have seen so much more but hadn't let himself.
Long, nimble fingers brush along the length of his own cock and the sound he makes is positively feral, wild and high pitched.
"Too much. I wouldn't..." He shakes his head, even as he curls his fingers around his cock and the words break off in a moan. His other hand tentatively stroking along Jesper's ankle almost in time with how his hand moves on his cock. "Never seemed the right time and people around and..." He groans Jesper's name softly.