Jesper Fahey (
itookashot) wrote in
abraxaslogs2023-10-04 07:16 pm
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Smart men are always looking for loopholes.
WHO: Jesper Fahey and you!
WHAT: Catch-all for October
WHERE: Cadens, Nocwich, Horizon
WHEN: Throughout October (may add event things)
WARNINGS: Nothing right now.

[ooc: feel free to wildcard below or ask me for a custom starter on plurk]
WHAT: Catch-all for October
WHERE: Cadens, Nocwich, Horizon
WHEN: Throughout October (may add event things)
WARNINGS: Nothing right now.
[ooc: feel free to wildcard below or ask me for a custom starter on plurk]
no subject
It's never occurred to him that his mother could show up here. Technically it is possible but that seems so far outside of the realm of reality. His love of guns and flashiness come from her. "She died saving the life of a girl in our village. Durasts can heal too, we can take poison out of other people's bodies the way I strip rot out of wood." This is more detail than he usually gives to people, but he feels better these days about talking of her, and Hilda has a way of making people feel safe around her.
"I never learned how, if an expert Durast died doing it, I'd have no luck." It would be too dangerous, but he probably would try it too, to save the life of someone he loves.
no subject
The details he's giving her about his abilities are filed away for a later time because right now nothing matters more than Jesper and making sure that he's okay. "Don't be silly. You're so powerful, Jesper," she starts. "If there's anyone that could make that happen by sheer willpower alone, it's you."
She knows his mother's fate, but the hopeful, wide-eyed thing that still clings onto hope in moments of darkness wishes for the best possible outcome. "What happened to the girl she was trying to save? Is she okay?"
no subject
But he squeezes her hand back instead. "I don't think I'm ready to try. But I will if I have to, I wouldn't stand by and watch someone die." Maybe that should mean Jesper should practice by dealing with poison, so it isn't him being an amateur, but obviously it's a point of pain for him.
"Leoni Hilli is her name, she's alive and well, last time I checked. She joined the Grisha army. She's in the same type of powers we are. The Materialki are put into two groups, Durast and Alkemi. Her type use more chemicals and alchemy, mine build things manipulating matter." Jesper's actually never been this detailed before talking about the Grisha. It used to be a sore subject too as he was actively untrained, but he's come a long way. "My father hid me so they couldn't train me, but I do think it was for the best. I wouldn't want to be a soldier."
no subject
“Hopefully you never get put into position where you have to try.” There’s a candour to her voice, an earnest hope that he’ll never have to put himself in that sort of position in order to save someone dear to him. Her previous statement stands though and not simply because of his powers being unique. To create something from nothing with as much creativity as there is behind it is truly a marvel.
Along with the mental jotting down of things from Jesper’s world that he’s telling her, relief comes upon hearing that his mother’s sacrifice hadn’t been for naught. But then of course the part about being made a soldier is…less than ideal. “If he hid you, I suppose that means that the army isn’t exactly a desirable place to be?”
Not that she blames his father or Jesper for that sentiment. Even though her Fodlan was in the thick of war, she had never seen herself as a soldier and never would for that matter. Protecting her land, her friends, her people - all of those things were vastly different and didn’t equate in her mind to that of a soldier.
no subject
He looks fairly grave at that question. "Grisha are generally hated because of being different. Ravka only started tolerating them in exchange for using them in the army. Then there's Fjerda who won't rest until we're all dead. And then there are other people who would sell us to either side." This is all factual and quite terrible, so it explains more why he would want to hide in the first place. Why it was dangerous to be acknowledged as one, and why he also hid even after leaving his father.
"People often join the army because it's the only place that protects them and lets them find a community together." It's where the majority of Grisha are, outside of hiding or keeping to little sects. Jesper can see how that would appeal to Leoni, having that sense of belonging. If they're already going to be in danger, they might as well find a place.
"When Kaz took me in, he knew what I was. He knew someone else might have sold me out or forced me to use my abilities in exchange for safety. He's always protected me, from other people and from myself." It's why Jesper is so die-hard for Kaz Brekker and loves him, is loyal to him in a blind way. People don't always understand the two of them from the outside, or Kaz himself, but his crew know how deeply (and secretly) he loves.
no subject
Her own ignorance about Almyran people had all stemmed from the unknown, for not being willing to put in the time or the effort to better understand a people that weren't the ones she was familiar with. It was a mistake she was trying so hard to correct.
Familiarity shines in her eyes at the mention of Kaz and she gives Jesper's hand another squeeze. Her features soften. There will never be a version of her that won't melt for people looking out for one another, for bonds forged selflessly that they were stronger than any steel. "I'm so glad that you two met. And I'm glad that you're both here together." The grip on his hand loosens as she falls into silence. "Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I didn't have my friends here when I arrived. It probably would have been a lot more difficult."
And it's entirely possible that she'd be more resentful of this place and this experience than she is now.
no subject
It's for a few reasons, and some of them aren't perfect, but it's them. Kaz is the boss. The leader. When he chose Jesper to be his second in command, it made him very proud and he took it seriously. Kaz's protection over him meant that he was wanted, needed.
"I don't know what I would have done without Inej though. She was here alone before me, I hate knowing that." Inej can handle it, and she found connections, but they're gone now mostly. The idea of her being alone is painful, even if she herself was fine. The two of them reuniting was so important. "To be fair though, Hilda, you and I are both friendly and warm people, we would have an easier time than most finding a place here."
Even without their friends! It helps, definitely, but Jesper assumes they would've made it work. They'd be miserable about it, but they're adaptable people. Kaz would've lost his mind if it was only him, that's for sure.
"As for the three of us, well, we weren't romantic before but we are now. Although we were in our hearts, we just hadn't said it out loud. The love I have for them, it doesn't have one definition."
no subject
It isn't anything to dwell over now however.
Jesper's impression of her brings a bashful smile to her face. "Aw shucks. I think you're giving me too much credit. At least you have a way of being able to fend for yourself." At this point it's no secret that sort of background she had come from; working for something in her life hadn't been a concept that she'd had to listen to or learn about until arriving here. Would she have so easily been talked into helping at the Sarstina were Sylvain not behind the bar the night she had arrived? She'd like to say she would have but she knows Sylvain's influence had something to do with her agreeing in the first place.
"Did the romance start here?" she asks a wistful little sigh in her voice. "If you don't mind me asking that is. I love love."
CW for sex slavery reference
"You're very resourceful, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. It's not as if anything here is easy." Maybe it would have taken her longer but she would have gotten there, Jesper has faith in her. Hilda is brilliant and she has a good heart, she would have found her way alone. He has a good eye for when people are down on themselves, even those who appear confident. (Same-same.)
"It did for me and them. They always had a romantic element, but there were reasons they weren't ready for that." Jesper hesitates, because he doesn't want to give away too much privacy, but it matters in this case. "They both have painful backgrounds, it gets in the way of their happiness. But we were able to talk all of it out here, and from there they included me."
Inej was a sex slave and Kaz has touch aversion. That does make a romance hard, or at least it might have, if the two weren't able to talk about their comfort levels and what they're happy with. They aren't having sex, but they've found a content level. He's glad for it.
"Communication can solve a lot of conflicts. Imagine it being that simple, right?" And it turned out to be. Jesper may, in fact, be hinting a little bit to her, but not in any overt way. "I am extremely lucky that they not only love me, but they can tell me so now."
no subject
She’d never pry deep into the details of other’s romantic lives for the very reason that it’s so closely intwined with their lives. Hilda could be nosey, could swoon over a love story and be the couple’s (or in this case thruple’s) biggest fan - but she knows her boundaries. The hope is that others also respect hers in turn. Not that she’s got any romantic relationships to her name at the moment because the mess of whatever it is she’s found herself in with Claude and Sylvain is definitely not that.
Jesper’s subtle comment about communication, the parallels, at least at a base level about his relationship with Inej and Kaz, with hers, Claude and Sylvain’s situation — all of it makes her wonder how much Jesper knows about them. Trying to keep her jealous demon on a leash had meant that she simply didn’t ask about the specifics of what Claude and Sylvain did or spoke about together and by extension what Sylvain did or spoke about with Jesper. She’d like to call it her respecting them; but if she knows herself well, which she sadly does, it’s a familiar mechanism of defending herself too. What was out of sight, was out of mind for her although that had been becoming increasingly more difficult these days.
She knows Jesper cares for Sylvain though and only wants what’s best for him. And he had a right to considering what she had put him through. But if she takes his hint to heart she doesn’t let on. Instead she keeps the picture of someone blissfully unaware by letting out a somewhat exasperated laugh. “The simplest things can sometimes be the hardest. Which is super rude of those things when you think about it. But,” her smile returns to that genuine quality. “I’m glad that you’ve all got one another. That is really lucky - especially after everything you’ve all probably gone through.”
There’s a brief pause as she looks up at him with kind eyes. “I really appreciate you sharing all of that with me, Jesper.” A hint of playful seriousness shines in her gaze. “But I do have one more than I’d love to ask - could you teach me how to shoot a gun?”
And we can wrap here!
If communication could get the three Crows to finally stop hiding their love from each other, surely it could work for anyone.
"I'm glad we have each other too. Not that it means I'm off the market, if any beautiful pink-haired women were to get some ideas." Jesper flirts as easily as he breathes but he hopes with her she knows it's in good fun. They're both like that. He winks at her and then turns toward the shooting range.
"Of course. You'll be a sharpshooter in no time."