[ sam could, he supposes, explain what he means by that. it may or may not be a modern word (and 'modern' is really the only way sam has been able to box up the differences in his experiences and others), but the connotation probably is. mental health, and the support of mental health... anyway. he could get heated, if he wanted to, but that isn't the point he's trying to make and he's going to take a guess that estinein doesn't really want to have that conversation either.
so sam nods, both in a sort of push for himself, but also in agreement. as early as they would take me. there's a hint of a smile tugging at sam's mouth, at that. ] Me too. Probably earlier than I had any right to, but the second I could enlist, I was there.
[ there's a lot more, to all of this. about growing up in lousiana, about wanting to fight the world. what drove him to enlist and what kept him away, even while his whole life was slowly unraveling back home. sam watches a speedrun of his years, from eighteen to forty, play out in a matter of seconds. about how the kid he had been would never, not in his wildest dreams, have imagined he would be here. (not that his forty-year-old self is really convinced he's here, either, but again - a point for another time.)
estinein shrugs, and sam continues - because he feels like there might be a moment, worth all of this, in here. a chance for estinein to listen, yes, but also maybe feel a bit more heard. we're not all that different he wants to simply say, but sam knows these things are never - really - that simple. ]
Are you still one? Back home? [ because that 'was' can mean a couple of things, and sam is curious. ]
no subject
so sam nods, both in a sort of push for himself, but also in agreement. as early as they would take me. there's a hint of a smile tugging at sam's mouth, at that. ] Me too. Probably earlier than I had any right to, but the second I could enlist, I was there.
[ there's a lot more, to all of this. about growing up in lousiana, about wanting to fight the world. what drove him to enlist and what kept him away, even while his whole life was slowly unraveling back home. sam watches a speedrun of his years, from eighteen to forty, play out in a matter of seconds. about how the kid he had been would never, not in his wildest dreams, have imagined he would be here. (not that his forty-year-old self is really convinced he's here, either, but again - a point for another time.)
estinein shrugs, and sam continues - because he feels like there might be a moment, worth all of this, in here. a chance for estinein to listen, yes, but also maybe feel a bit more heard. we're not all that different he wants to simply say, but sam knows these things are never - really - that simple. ]
Are you still one? Back home? [ because that 'was' can mean a couple of things, and sam is curious. ]