abraxaslogs | ❄ october catch-all

( The Northern Territories isn't a sore spot for Jill, but rather a distant memory -- she can barely recall the stories, let alone her own memories and images growing up. )

No, I don't think I did. I was six when I was taken as a ward, and by the time I was able to return, the North had fallen to a thing we refer to as the Blight. This-- ( She gestures to her domain, the snowcapped mountains in the distance. ) Is all I remember. No ice palaces, no queens.

( Jill does smile then, a quick thing, but grateful all the same. )

I would hate to disappoint. Here-- ( Jill conjures -- because it is her domain -- beef and a few vegetables, primarily onions and carrots. Moving onto chopping them into small pieces, Jill hums in thought. ) I remember there being more to it than meat. These seemed like the best option.

( Nothing too outlandish, like scorpions. Clive might have willingly attempted to eat that if given enough incentive, but Jill certainly wouldn't. Sorry, Clive. ) What is Fodlan like, if you don't mind sharing?

[ Magic in all of its forms, even ones that she’s seen several times over, still never fails to fill Hilda with some sort of wonder. The sudden appearance of the new ingredients can’t help but fill Hilda with a little bit of satisfaction; she had contributed in some way that was more than just talking Jill’s ear off. At least she hopes that’s the case.

Hopefully her new acquaintance doesn’t mind as she does more of it. Although to be fair, she did ask. ]

Oh, it’s nice, I suppose. We feel a little bit behind Abraxas when it comes to technology; most of the things in the Free Cities are things I had never seen before coming here! I’m jealous honestly. They would have made life so much easier. Our magic is a little different too.

[ Sitting doesn't feel right so instead she leans against the counter. Her tone doesn't change from the light one from before. ]

We're in the middle of a war though. At least we were when I arrived. According to my friends it ends eventually.

[ The Doctor isn't sure how to properly convey what this place means to him. Oh, he could say it easily out loud, he could tell her the simple words — what you've created here means so much to me. But he holds back. It would be a strange thing to say, that someone else's domain would mean so much to him since it wasn't made for him and has nothing to do with him, but the Doctor says strange things all the time and doesn't hold himself back.

That's not the reason he holds back now. No, because to speak of it would mean speaking of Gallifrey and he's not ready for that.

He can speak around it, though. He likes to think he's clever that way, in his practiced art of deflection. ]

The Blight? Something in the environment? Awful to think of anything as beautiful as this being destroyed in some way. This place — [ He looks around, over his shoulder, then back to her again. ] It reminds me of somewhere I've been before, a very long time ago.

[ Home. But it's gone now. ]

Six, though, that's a young age to be taken, for so much to change all at once. Were you okay, cared for?

Istredd understands possession and vessels but this sounds like something else. Two people sharing a body? Or they're mostly the same person? As long as it makes sense to Jill, it's not as if he has to understand it entirely. Everyone has their own details around here, and he finds them fascinating, but he tries not to pry past what they feel comfortable offering.

"So you're accidentally calling on it while using other magic because they're intertwined in your head." That seems to make a kind of sense to him. He gets it because he does something almost similar at times when doing his illusions, since his instinct is to use Chaos first. It can be hard to get around what feels right in your gut with magic.

"It just takes practice. At least with Academic Magic, you really just get used to learning spells themselves. They get very precise the higher up you go."

( Jill, though focused on cutting, glances up at Hilda every now and again to show that she is listening. Technology... that was something that the Hideaway was doing its best to create on an order to replace the magic they're so dependent on. Perhaps one day it will replace it completely -- but not this day. Not right now. )

My world is akin to Thorne's -- what technology we do have is akin to what is present there, save for the inventions of a few bright individuals. We rely on magic too much in Valisthea. ( That she's found peace, too, brings a small smile to Jill's face. ) Peace is a fragile thing -- I'm glad your world has found it.

( In that, they're in agreement: a place they know as home, gone and out of reach. It means more than Jill can say that it resonates with someone else -- that what she remembers of a land she cannot return to isn't forgotten but will live on in the memories of others. It makes it a little less lonely, a little more bearable. )

Magic. Sapping the life out of the world, inch by inch. All that is left is lifeless blackness and beasts gone wild out of starvation. And after those perish, an empty silence. ( She can only hope that with Clive's success in defeating Ultima, with whatever sacrifice he will doubtless make, they can begin to heal the land. It will take longer than Jill's life, and... she does not plan to be on Storm to watch it. ) You are welcome to visit whenever you'd like, then -- I would never turn away company.

( It makes it feel more alive. )

I was, yes. The Archduke who raised me insisted that I be treated as part of his family, and his sons were always kind beyond words. ( Jill does not mention the Duchess. Empress Anabella is best left where Jill last saw her: dead by Anabella's own hand in a crumbling palace, knowing that all her scheming was for naught. ) One of them is here in Abraxas -- Clive Rosfield, if the name is familiar.

Jill nods, glad that Istredd understands. That she wants to avoid using it because it chips away at her life every time it does is what she does not say. Not yet, at any rate -- not unless she absolutely has to. Perhaps it's selfish to keep such a thing a secret, but Jill does not want anyone else to worry about her while she's here, Clive does it enough for all of Abraxas.

"The precise nature is much more of a change than the magic in my world, which is more on instinct for all who wield it. Dominant and Branded are alike in that matter." And so it will be easier for her to separate the two, eventually. "I think I prefer it this way. Learned, and with purpose."

Instead of a fact of nature, inscrutable and feared.

[ Having never been to Thorne she can only go off of descriptions and pictures in the books that she's glanced at over Claude's shoulder. In many ways it sounds similar to some parts of Fodlan what with all its castles and kingdoms.
Her head tilts in curiosity. ]

What do you mean when you say that your world relies on magic too much? You mean to do things like cook or mend clothing?

[ Jokingly her lips quirk - ]

Because I feel like that would make life easier.

[ Speaking making things easier...There's a beat before - ]

Can I help by the way?

[ It's only polite to ask after all. ]

I haven't had the pleasure yet, though I'll look forward to meeting him, especially knowing you were cared for by him and his family.

[ A statement that slides off his tongue easily because the Doctor always looks forward to meeting anyone. How those meetings go always remains to be seen, but he keeps an open mind and heart(s).

Though what's happened to her home is vastly different than what happened to his, it means something to speak with someone who understands the loss in some measure. ]

Thank you for the invitation, too. Though I warn you, now you'll not be rid of me. [ Said with a teasing smirk for a brief moment before he softens again. ]

I'm sorry about your home, truly. And honored to have a glimpse of it, one I'll carry with me.

[ He offers his hand now. Well, as much as he can here, given what this place is. ]

I'm the Doctor, by the way.

"In my sphere, most of the people who are untrained in magic die. It's made of Chaos energy and without learning balance, it will eat you from the inside and burn your life away." A harsh reality but one that Istredd is used to. He learned that lesson as a child after watching someone's arm start to die because they didn't use Chaos properly, and it's not the sort of lesson you need again. Magic kills its wielder in his experience too.

"Using it causes a ripple of a kind that alerts older mages to use, and they try to get to us before we die." There are always people who sometimes fall under the radar or do burn out before they get there, and everyone else is taken back to the Brotherhood. He doesn't remember anything about his own family, only the one he was brought into.

"It is very difficult to die from using this magic. At least not the spells that are already written out for all of us to use. It's safe." He suspects that the people who tried spells out until they worked probably were less safe, but it had to start somewhere. "What does Branded mean?"

( It's a question that deserves as much attention as anything, and Jill sets the food aside for a moment, gaze cast down as she gathers the right words, though as she speaks her tone gets sharper and sharper. )

Almost. It is used to light fires, to heal and to wound. But those that cannot use magic naturally must rely on crystals to do so, and those who can are enslaved so that they can be ordered around, dictated to on how to direct and use their magic. They are treated like things, and-- ( Jill's anger fades, her shoulders dropping somewhat as she returns to chopping her vegetables. ) discarded when the magic takes its toll on their bodies.

( A shake of her head. )

So yes, we rely on it too much.

[ As soon as she asks the question, Hilda can tell based on Jill's halted actions and the way her voice sharpens that she had inadvertently brushed against a sensitive subject. It's a stark contrast to the calm, pleasant demeanour from before.

Hilda stills too, unable to stop herself from holding her breath, an apology already on the tip of her tongue. Her cheeks burn slightly with shame at her own fumble, but her brows furrow as if borrowing some of that anger from Jill. Faintly she can't help but wonder if Jill is a magic user - if she had to undergo some of that treatment as well. ]

What? That's awful! I'm sorry feels so useless to say here but I also just -

[ She falters. What else were you supposed to say after hearing that? It seems insensitive to ask if Jill had experienced that treatment firsthand, especially when this is their first meeting. ]

But if they were able to use magic naturally, wouldn't they have been able to fight back somehow?

Company is always welcome. ( For as reserved as Jill is, she would never turn anyone away. ) And... thank you. I know this place is only a pale imitation of it, but to know that it lives on in someone's memory--

( It truly means more than she can say. A small smile steals over her face, and she offers her hand for him to shake. It's what's commonly done here, she's learned. )

Jill Warrick. It's a pleasure, Doctor.

( There is no sign that his name is a title, or any strangeness around it (Doctor who?) owing to the fact that doctors aren't... a thing, for her. )

( Jill is lucky, in her estimation, that she was never branded herself. A Dominant; there are none who would dare push her too far without breaking her spirit first out of fear that her retribution would come for them all. That she spent slightly less than half of her life in chains, a slave in all but name to the whims of a nation that used her power for assassinations and warfare at the pain of not her death, but that of children, does not change her opinion of her fate. She is a lucky one -- she was freed, and not through her own doing.

Hilda's question doesn't take her aback, but instead gets a rueful, tight smile from her. )

Perhaps, once. But it has been centuries upon centuries of this -- one forgets how to fight after enough time. That it is even an option at all. ( And it eats at her, her own failure to do so. ) But it is my hope that one day, perhaps soon, there will be no magic in our world. That all will be equal and free.

( Clive said he was successful, and Jill clings to that hope as hard as she can. She's stopped prepping her food completely, and begins to start again. )

But enough about my world. Tell me more of yours, if you'd like.

What he describes seems, by Jill's estimation, almost idyllic compared to the realities of her world. Which is not to say that she does not mourn for those who have died before mages got to them, far from it. But they are found, they are taught. That is far better than the fate of Branded in her world.

"That is good to know," she says, with a small smile. It was not something she was concerned about but she will happily tell Clive of it later, to put his mind further at ease.

"Those who can use magic are branded on the cheek, giving rise to the name. "Bearer" is also a common term, for magic is considered a curse one must bear."

[ There's a quiet strength to this young woman in front of her. It could come from any number of things - injustices and being unable to do anything about them, seeing loved ones have to go through them, being a victim of it herself - whatever the reason or reasons, something that can only be called respect stirs in Hilda.

She understands what complacency and turning a blind eye looks like in the face of an oppressive, unpleasant force. She's worn it, maybe been the poster child for it in some respects. Which really only makes the respect even more deserving - and perhaps prompts her to offer up something about Fodlan that she hadn't really talked about at length before.

Pulling another knife and cutting board towards her, Hilda offers a hand out for some vegetables in a silent offer to help. She gives her a short, quiet laugh. ]

You sound a lot like my friend who could probably explain this a lot better than I can. He's trying to achieve equality in our world.

[ There's unwavering admiration in her voice as she speaks to Claude's dreams. But after a moment it ebbs into something a little more sobering. ]

But instead of magic we have something called Crests in Fodlan. They've been passed down through bloodlines which makes them really valuable to noble families. It's caused a lot of problems for children that are born in those families that don't have Crests because if they don't they could be passed over for inheritance or disowned completely.

[ It's one of the few times he's not been asked to explain Doctor since he's been here, and it's a delightful change of pace. Shaking her hand gently, yet firmly, he smiles all the same before letting go. ]

Very good to meet you, Jill Warrick. You're the first Jill I've met here, the first Jill Warrick I've known in the whole of the universe, in fact — and trust me, I've traveled enough that it's significant — so now all other Jills I meet hereafter will be measured by you. No pressure, or anything! But they would have quite a bit to live up to.

[ He teases gently, with a light smirk. ]

I'm glad you're not alone here. Well, you wouldn't be, with others of us Summoned, but I'm glad you have someone from home. Which faction did you end up in?

"They've spent centuries perfecting everything written down in Academic Magic texts. It doesn't make them very inventive, but it does make them very safe." There does lack a certain fluidity that works better with natural-born magic in his experience, once you learn how to balance Chaos there are a lot of things you can do, but it means Academic Magic is very good for newcomers. Once they learn a spell and keep trying at it, they can perfect and use it easily. He appreciates that, it makes it easy to teach.

He's slightly surprised, although he has heard of all kinds of reactions to magic from other universes. At this point, there is no end to the things that separate each sphere from another. Istredd recently got memories of losing the mages, but that was an in-fight, on the whole mages have been treated with reverence by others. Or at least the kind of fear that serves them well.

"Is there a reason why they treat mages so terribly, outside of them fearing people with powers not everyone has?" That is a common reason why, but he wonders if there is another.

There is, and Jill is silent for a moment as she gathers her thoughts on the matter -- pieced together from the lessons of Vivian and the book Clive went to fetch for her. "It is not as simple as fear." That she can say with certainty. "You must understand that I cannot recount the fact of our history with certainty, because time and willful meddling has taken its toll on it. But understanding it, I think, will help place it all into context."

But that can hardly be different than any other world. Though perhaps without direct 'divine' intervention.

"Mankind was created for a singular purpose: to give birth to an individual who's physical form could withstand the most powerful magic not only in our world, but all worlds. The creator of man retreated into slumber, awaiting that birth, and in that time men gained their own free will -- making their own way in the world. Once there were a race of men who used magic as they willed, creating marvels we can only dream of, including airships, though they fell to war and the cost that using magic takes from the land, the people who use it. But magic was not lost; it lived on -- and those who had it were worshiped and adored by those who did not. This, you can imagine, led only to what is called The Deluge of Blood," a breath, and Jill folds even further in on herself, arms crossed in front of her. "And so those who could not overthrew those who could, and intended to keep it that way to prevent a second war. It has remained that way ever since, even as Dominants arose from the ranks of the Bearers."

It is perhaps the most words she's said to anyone besides Clive since her arrival, and Jill isn't sure of what to make of that at all, either.

( Jill happily hands the vegetables over, glad for the help, and starts preparing the meat she'd conjured up -- beef and chocobo. Though the latter just looks like a rather large bird thigh. She listens with that same quiet intensity, though part of her can't help but feel pleased that there were others on various other worlds who weren't going to simply let inequality stand.

Something in Jill's chest catches at Hilda's, her mind instantly going to Clive. Perhaps nobility was all the same, no matter which world. How horrible that is, that the people who were responsible for the wellbeing of the people could be so cruel to their own family. )

I can imagine all too well what they would do to those who were born without them. ( She says, after a moment, picking her words carefully. Jill has no wish to air Clive's struggles to people he doesn't even know; he hasn't even told Gav, she knows. Or Otto. ) There are those in my world who easily eschew their children should fate have other things in store for them than expected.

( His excitement, and seeming genuine delight at meeting a perfect stranger, is almost infectious. Jill smiles slightly, ducking her head out of embarrassment. She's nothing special, even as the only Jill Warrick in the universe that he's familiar with.

The smile vanishes as he asks her what faction, however -- she knows what the others think of Thorne, and knows that her own thoughts are similar. )

Thorne. For ill or for better, though most likely for ill.

[ Going off of expressions both silent and outward, the Doctor is used to people not knowing what to make sometimes of his...enthusiasm at seemingly the smallest things, but he is genuinely always glad to meet someone new. Connections are important to him, particularly in a place like this.

Oh, yes. Thorne. Not that any of them belong in this world at all like they are, without their consent, but what he knows of Thorne, he's certainly glad he's not there at least. So he empathizes with the feeling she seems to have, if he's reading her expression correctly. ]

Tricky place, there, from what I know of it. Well, they all are, but especially Thorne. Is Clive there with you? Have you been okay there? In a certain...definition of 'okay,' obviously, given our circumstances.

[ Vegetables in hand, Hilda gets to work. Her work is slower than Jill's, but methodical. Like someone who wanted to do something correctly even if it wasn't her favourite thing to do in the world. The pieces end up in neat little rounds or cubes - whatever it is that Jill has in mind.

Hilda's thoughts drift to Sylvain and Miklan before going to Holst and herself. Once again it doesn't escape her how similar their lives could have been had Holst become a vengeful person or had her parents cared more for a child with a Crest over someone who was incredibly capable without it. ]

Sometimes passing over them as heir is the kindest outcome. [ But that isn't always the case. In fact it's rare. She attempts to pull some levity into her voice. ] But that isn't always the case. Holst, my brother, wasn't born with a Crest and he's still the heir to our family. If our parents cared much for a child having a Crest, it would have been me instead - which honestly sounds like far too much work.

Istredd listens to her intently, absorbed by every word. As a historian there are few things that interest him more than learning about each sphere and where they come from. It has been one of the better aspects of being in a multiverse situation for him. He loves learning. He follows what she says while understanding that all she can do is repeat history; he's had to do the same. While he's tried to find the secrets of his continent, it's hard to do if you're not looking in the right spot.

"The Dominants being powerful mages like your Shiva?" Mages, magical entities, again he's not sure the exact definition but they're both past trying to make exact sense of it. "Are the Dominants just exceptionally powerful magical beings that are birthed from mankind or are they something more? I suppose my question is, what purpose do they serve to the greater plan of that individual, or are they separate from it?"

He knows that Jill is revealing a great deal to him and he appreciates it, if at any point his questions push too hard he'll understand. His curiosity is a constant and it can be annoying. He's always wondering what makes other people tick.

❄ october catch-all

no worries at all!

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oh my god i'm so sorry about how long this took

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don't worry at all, it's all good!

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