Istredd may have accepted the death of the Brotherhood decently well, outside of a period of mourning and trying to figure out his feelings about it all. Lucifer tried to take away his pain, but he said he needed it, and that was the true. Stregobor is unfortunately still a sensitive spot. It's the lack of closure. There was so much more he wanted to yell at him before the end. As long as he was alive, some part of me would hope he'd change.

Stupid. Weak. Frustrating. Rationally knowing someone was a monster and yet.

"He did. He took me under his wing, taught me what he knew, told me I was special." It's disgusting, really, how much Istredd yearned for that type of attention at the time. And even if he knew the mages were corrupt, told Yennefer about the elves and used forbidden magic, he still couldn't help wanting to be important to someone. It's a problem that hasn't gone away.

"I was to him what Yennefer was to Tissaia." Chosen by their separate teachers. "But he was a terrible person and I saw that. Eventually." Not quickly enough to spare Yennefer his racism and wrath. So very stupid. He folds his arms, swallowing. "I thought you knew when you used me to distract him at the ball." Now he sees Geralt just picked a distraction that would work. He didn't know Stregobor had particular reason to pay attention.