Being forgiven by others doesn't always mean forgiveness by yourself. It's often the opposite. Her friends forgave her and she knew in her heart they would, that they would not blame her, but she will keep blaming herself. Their only mistake was being her friend, it's hard to get over that reality. The only thing keeping her from making relationships past-trauma was knowing that it meant he won, but more than that, now it's about not becoming him. Being a better god. She needs to believe in people to do that.
"I want to do good. I want to be good." Julia's always been the good girl, her whole life, and she had faith in that once, but she was grounded so far into the dirt, bloodied and broken, that she didn't feel it anymore. She felt dark and ugly and that her rage would never let her go back. She's afraid that having eternity in front of her is dangerous, that no one can stay good that long.
But she believes him and what he's saying, she knows that he is wiser and more experienced, and their intense moment is distracted by the birds. Julia tenses up in fear about what else they could say, if she hears Reynard's voice she's going to lose her mind, but it's the Doctor's voice instead. She breathes out, having caught her breath in that moment, and looks at him instead.
"We're both very haunted people, aren't we? Basically delicious meat for the birds." She's assuming they're feeding off them. There is no other reason she can see for them to do this, outside of cruelty, but it feels more likely they get sustenance. After having hesitated about this before, Julia offers him her hand, because she can.
"I have proof that friendship is the type that is forgiving. I can't speak precisely to what happened with you, but if they knew you, they'd understand."
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"I want to do good. I want to be good." Julia's always been the good girl, her whole life, and she had faith in that once, but she was grounded so far into the dirt, bloodied and broken, that she didn't feel it anymore. She felt dark and ugly and that her rage would never let her go back. She's afraid that having eternity in front of her is dangerous, that no one can stay good that long.
But she believes him and what he's saying, she knows that he is wiser and more experienced, and their intense moment is distracted by the birds. Julia tenses up in fear about what else they could say, if she hears Reynard's voice she's going to lose her mind, but it's the Doctor's voice instead. She breathes out, having caught her breath in that moment, and looks at him instead.
"We're both very haunted people, aren't we? Basically delicious meat for the birds." She's assuming they're feeding off them. There is no other reason she can see for them to do this, outside of cruelty, but it feels more likely they get sustenance. After having hesitated about this before, Julia offers him her hand, because she can.
"I have proof that friendship is the type that is forgiving. I can't speak precisely to what happened with you, but if they knew you, they'd understand."