[ There's nothing Claude has to offer but a humorless smile to the matter of using his real name. Hilda's right - there was enough to deal with as it was, some of which he was ready for and some of which was a surprise to find in Fodlan, too. He debates what to tell Hilda next as he watches her consider thoughts of her own.
Would any of this had been easier if he'd waited until that trip to bring her to visit Almyra? At one point Claude would have said yes, that the context would've helped, that by then there would've been even more to build upon - but now he wonders again if that was another mistake. Maybe it would've made the distance something easier to bear with Fodlan's Locket still in the way even with Holst and Nader now friends - no, brothers by their own oath - but that's something they'll have to wait to find out whenever they leave Abraxas.
If only he could remember this somehow to make sure he didn't repeat any of it even accidentally. To keep himself from making any of same mistakes that'd led them to this and to spare Hilda from any of it when he could've and should've done better than -
A blink to bring him out of his thoughts, and Claude focuses on what she says next, traces his gaze over that so beloved face and makes himself look at every bit of uncertainty to remind himself again of what he'd caused and nearly lost. ]
No, it wasn't that. Shahid and I have different mothers. He had no claim to House Riegan, and I'm not even sure he knew that's where I went. Not at first, anyway, since Almyra will know about the war.
[ And would have even before he'd sent Nader back with his request for help at Fort Merceus, though Claude remembers a second later: Hilda doesn't know that part yet. She does know Nardel, or who Nardel supposedly is, but that's another thought that can wait when there's others to get through first. ]
People from Fodlan are thought of as cowards back home. I never did believe that - my mother's proof enough otherwise, but saying so doesn't change anything. I left hoping to find a new perspective, but what I found is something Fodlan and Almyra share in common is how they view and treat anyone seen as an outsider. I wasn't an exception to that when I was younger. All of us looking to become our father's heir further complicated things. [ A beat, because he considers pausing again there, but - she's already asked if it was something else. It's only fair to add what that is, so - ] My father is the king of Almyra, Hilda.
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Would any of this had been easier if he'd waited until that trip to bring her to visit Almyra? At one point Claude would have said yes, that the context would've helped, that by then there would've been even more to build upon - but now he wonders again if that was another mistake. Maybe it would've made the distance something easier to bear with Fodlan's Locket still in the way even with Holst and Nader now friends - no, brothers by their own oath - but that's something they'll have to wait to find out whenever they leave Abraxas.
If only he could remember this somehow to make sure he didn't repeat any of it even accidentally. To keep himself from making any of same mistakes that'd led them to this and to spare Hilda from any of it when he could've and should've done better than -
A blink to bring him out of his thoughts, and Claude focuses on what she says next, traces his gaze over that so beloved face and makes himself look at every bit of uncertainty to remind himself again of what he'd caused and nearly lost. ]
No, it wasn't that. Shahid and I have different mothers. He had no claim to House Riegan, and I'm not even sure he knew that's where I went. Not at first, anyway, since Almyra will know about the war.
[ And would have even before he'd sent Nader back with his request for help at Fort Merceus, though Claude remembers a second later: Hilda doesn't know that part yet. She does know Nardel, or who Nardel supposedly is, but that's another thought that can wait when there's others to get through first. ]
People from Fodlan are thought of as cowards back home. I never did believe that - my mother's proof enough otherwise, but saying so doesn't change anything. I left hoping to find a new perspective, but what I found is something Fodlan and Almyra share in common is how they view and treat anyone seen as an outsider. I wasn't an exception to that when I was younger. All of us looking to become our father's heir further complicated things. [ A beat, because he considers pausing again there, but - she's already asked if it was something else. It's only fair to add what that is, so - ] My father is the king of Almyra, Hilda.