[ A part of her had hoped that Claude wouldn't address the fact that she had more or less admitted to laying down her life for him. It was incredibly obvious that she had - or at least some alternate version of herself had - but just because it was true in some way, didn't mean that she wanted to speak it aloud. Aside from being embarrassing it also implied a multitude of other things that she didn't want to address, or rather, that she wasn't prepared to address now (or maybe ever, if she had her way).
It's a new development for her to think about herself as brave, but she can't help but forlornly think that that version of her had been brave enough to do something like that. And because she's so caught up in what an alternate version of herself might do in a situation like that, what Claude says about not wanting his future spouse to have to worry about constantly watching their back goes completely over her head. It doesn't register that that could be her, because she's already ruled herself out of the running. That, and it would be presumptuous to draw that conclusion even if he adds at the end that he wouldn't want that for her.
There's no room for that thought to breathe, for her to realize that he might as well have stated his intentions and implying the thing that she only allows herself to think about in brief daydreams because for some equally ridiculous reason he's trying to draw comparisons to her situation to his mother. She lets out a little disbelieving laugh. ]
Except from everything you've told me about your mother, she's much braver than I'll ever be.
[ Realizing how dire that sounds, she's quick to change her tune, lips quirking, what he'd said still not settling in. ]
And it's not like I'm going to end up destitute or something. I'm sure Holst and my parents will find me some sort of someone suitable to marry. Maybe not a prince but hopefully they'll be kind. That's all I can hope for.
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It's a new development for her to think about herself as brave, but she can't help but forlornly think that that version of her had been brave enough to do something like that. And because she's so caught up in what an alternate version of herself might do in a situation like that, what Claude says about not wanting his future spouse to have to worry about constantly watching their back goes completely over her head. It doesn't register that that could be her, because she's already ruled herself out of the running. That, and it would be presumptuous to draw that conclusion even if he adds at the end that he wouldn't want that for her.
There's no room for that thought to breathe, for her to realize that he might as well have stated his intentions and implying the thing that she only allows herself to think about in brief daydreams because for some equally ridiculous reason he's trying to draw comparisons to her situation to his mother.
She lets out a little disbelieving laugh. ]
Except from everything you've told me about your mother, she's much braver than I'll ever be.
[ Realizing how dire that sounds, she's quick to change her tune, lips quirking, what he'd said still not settling in. ]
And it's not like I'm going to end up destitute or something. I'm sure Holst and my parents will find me some sort of someone suitable to marry. Maybe not a prince but hopefully they'll be kind. That's all I can hope for.