[ What Hilda says is so simple. He knows that. It's what most people would have assumed, though it hadn't stopped him from feeling a substantial amount of uncertainty while standing atop the Goddess Tower with Teach telling him he'd just woken up after napping for five years. That feeling was buried in the past long ago where it should be left as something to never be again, and in the present is Hilda's warm hand on his face.
A steadying force as it has been every time she's offered this piece of affection he's savored no less in turn for the absence of it from his life before she'd walked into it. It offers comfort, belief, trust, and so many more unnamed things as Claude closes his eyes and leans into it for a moment before turning to brush his lips against her palm, and he offers a wan smile after opening his eyes. ]
I figured that out eventually.
[ Maybe that says enough, or maybe it says too little for what it encompasses. It's also a truth, though; that the trust the Deer placed in him wasn't merely for leadership alone had been a realization slow to dawn. Far slower than it should have been which he can see now with the benefit of hindsight and all that time to contemplate it now that it's not as overwhelming as it was upon telling the Deer (most of) his actual plans and finding them willing to stand beside him all the same.
It's enough again to feel the ghost of the missing beloved Deer though with it comes the pain of knowing he wouldn't want to wish them here either. The same dilemma he'd found himself in upon opening his eyes in Cadens to find no one he knew, and Hilda's empty space at his side ached more with every passing day. A phantom flare of it comes with thinking of how it'd almost remained permanently empty after the past few months, and Claude lifts his free hand to cradle Hilda's cheek in return. ]
And I wouldn't take back anything about who I've chosen for that, either.
[ He could add more to that - he probably should add more to that, lest Hilda believe it's only meant for the Deer as a whole instead of more specifically pointed to her as he means it now with the two of them sitting here. But hesitance from topics mentioned earlier comes to rest on his shoulders and convinces him to leave the words there, and instead he leans in for a kiss and stopping just short to give her a chance to lean in as well. ]
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A steadying force as it has been every time she's offered this piece of affection he's savored no less in turn for the absence of it from his life before she'd walked into it. It offers comfort, belief, trust, and so many more unnamed things as Claude closes his eyes and leans into it for a moment before turning to brush his lips against her palm, and he offers a wan smile after opening his eyes. ]
I figured that out eventually.
[ Maybe that says enough, or maybe it says too little for what it encompasses. It's also a truth, though; that the trust the Deer placed in him wasn't merely for leadership alone had been a realization slow to dawn. Far slower than it should have been which he can see now with the benefit of hindsight and all that time to contemplate it now that it's not as overwhelming as it was upon telling the Deer (most of) his actual plans and finding them willing to stand beside him all the same.
It's enough again to feel the ghost of the missing beloved Deer though with it comes the pain of knowing he wouldn't want to wish them here either. The same dilemma he'd found himself in upon opening his eyes in Cadens to find no one he knew, and Hilda's empty space at his side ached more with every passing day. A phantom flare of it comes with thinking of how it'd almost remained permanently empty after the past few months, and Claude lifts his free hand to cradle Hilda's cheek in return. ]
And I wouldn't take back anything about who I've chosen for that, either.
[ He could add more to that - he probably should add more to that, lest Hilda believe it's only meant for the Deer as a whole instead of more specifically pointed to her as he means it now with the two of them sitting here. But hesitance from topics mentioned earlier comes to rest on his shoulders and convinces him to leave the words there, and instead he leans in for a kiss and stopping just short to give her a chance to lean in as well. ]