[ Before meeting Jesper, Sylvain had no idea those words could ever be offered to him without strings attached. A laundry list of expectations behind them. Love was a currency in his life, and he'd always been the goods bartered away in exchange. But it had never been real love. Or if it was, it wasn't actually for love of him. No, it had always been a shallow, empty thing. And he was just as guilty of offering it that way, as mere lip service or idle charms. Because that was all he believed it to be.
It still made his head spin, to hear Jesper say that so easily, and know he meant it honestly. Openly. Sylvain didn't have to do anything to earn it, and even more shocking, didn't have to bend over backwards or jump through flaming hoops to keep it. He still struggled to believe it at times, wrap his head around the strange enormity of it, but he was trying. For Jesper.
Even if he still struggled to offer him the words back each time. He managed it, sometimes. To speak them aloud, to give them back with the same amount of honesty. For someone who had always had a way with words, that Jesper could steal these so easily...
But he presses a kiss to the man's shoulder, arm squeezing him tightly in a warm embrace, hoping he could still convey the depth of his emotions even if he couldn't easily give the words tonight. They choked in his throat and it just made his arms tighten a little more.
When he could finally speak again, his voice is a little raw, but still thickly warm with affection. ]
And here I thought that was because of my muscles.
[ Easier to make light of his own failure there, distract away from it, before guilt started gnawing at him and ruined an otherwise perfectly good night.
He wasn't good at letting other people be his caretaker either. So he understood Jesper's words all too well. ]
You deserved to be spoiled and pampered every once in a while too, you know.
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It still made his head spin, to hear Jesper say that so easily, and know he meant it honestly. Openly. Sylvain didn't have to do anything to earn it, and even more shocking, didn't have to bend over backwards or jump through flaming hoops to keep it. He still struggled to believe it at times, wrap his head around the strange enormity of it, but he was trying. For Jesper.
Even if he still struggled to offer him the words back each time. He managed it, sometimes. To speak them aloud, to give them back with the same amount of honesty. For someone who had always had a way with words, that Jesper could steal these so easily...
But he presses a kiss to the man's shoulder, arm squeezing him tightly in a warm embrace, hoping he could still convey the depth of his emotions even if he couldn't easily give the words tonight. They choked in his throat and it just made his arms tighten a little more.
When he could finally speak again, his voice is a little raw, but still thickly warm with affection. ]
And here I thought that was because of my muscles.
[ Easier to make light of his own failure there, distract away from it, before guilt started gnawing at him and ruined an otherwise perfectly good night.
He wasn't good at letting other people be his caretaker either. So he understood Jesper's words all too well. ]
You deserved to be spoiled and pampered every once in a while too, you know.