abraxaslogs | [OPEN] november/december catchall

Entry tags:

[OPEN] november/december catchall

Who: aloy and you
When: throughout November/December
Where: solvunn, nocwich, the horizon
What: boot camp, survivalist nonsense, continued camp cleanup, robot dinosaurs, whatever I WANT
Warnings: will list as needed!

[open and closed starters in comments! If you want a custom starter or something specific, just hit me up. I’m on plurk at

whitticus and on discord also at whitticus.]

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[ huh.

which may be an indicator of a larger thing. said larger thing being that while steve doesn't really consider himself secretive, he also hasn't really offered up all that much in terms of his own life. not where the weird stuff is concerned.

but...? she asks, and steve can't help but let out a sigh, letting a hand thread back through his hair to push it back off his forehead. ]

But I don't know if it worked. If we stopped him or...what. The last thing I remember is going back through the gate to get home and. [ he gestures around them - aka, he was summoned, and woke up naked in a pond. ]

[And then, this. Aloy nods--she's gained some memories, she thinks, since then, but she's not sure if she can even count them. No time passed in Solvunn, and in her own world she's not any closer to finding and stopping Nemesis than she was when she was first pulled here. There's Seyka, of course, but Aloy isn't sure she can believe any of it was real.

But she knows what it's like, to have unfinished business. To not know of the ultimate outcome.]

Do you think that you did it?

[That might give him some peace of mind.]

[ it's a totally valid question to ask, and really, steve should be expecting it even as the explanation leaves his mouth. still, the question - when he hears it - leaves him feeling almost sick to his stomach. ]

I don't know. [ a beat, where steve just sort of stares into the middle distance. ]

I don't know what we'd do if we didn't. If we failed... [ a breath, and then a shrug. ] If we failed, I guess I don't really have a world to go back to.

We can't know if that's true.

[That there would be no world to go back to. If some greater force can bring them here, then nothing is impossible. But Steve is right that the uncertainty of it all is perhaps more distressing to think about.]

Nobody from your home is here, right? Just Eddie?

[And if Eddie knew anything from beyond Steve's point in time, they wouldn't be having this conversation.]

Maybe.

[ except that steve is pretty convinced it is. he doesn't want to argue about it, though - not when there's very little he can do about it. he takes a long breath and tries to push the heaviness of the thought away. ]

Yeah- just Eddie. And he- [ steve cuts himself off, suddenly self-conscious about whether or not it's his place to say anything at all.

but he remembers how eddie has been acting about the whole thing, and it's also aloy. she's kind of on steve's short list of people he's pretty comfortable spilling everything to by now. ] He's dead. Or- shit. [ wow! he's bad at this! and that crushing feeling in his chest isn't going away! ] He dies, back home, before we all made it through the gate. Before I made it through. So... he wouldn't know.

[ steve wonders, briefly, is this is ever going to get any easier. he doubts it. so instead he just kind of shrugs. ]

[Aloy's lips part slightly, because this is the first she's heard of it. Maybe her own fault, for not paying too much attention to everyone else's interpersonal relationships, but she feels a well of sympathy all the same.]

Oh, Steve, I'm...sorry.

[She isn't very good at expressing this kind of thing, but having not known, it seems appropriate to express her condolences. Aloy wonders what it might be like, to arrive here and see deceased friends again, brought here by the Singularity from the moment they might have died. What it might be like, to see Varl again.]

Does he know?

[ steve knows that she's not trying to look at him with pity, but there is something in the look that is too much. he curses, rubs at his face, and tries to remind himself that it's not worth feeling guilty about. it's not like he's on the verge of tears or anything, he just...he doesn't know what to do. how to react.

she says sorry and he huffs out a breath, shakes his head. ] It's fine, it's not- it's not a big deal. Or, I mean, it is but it's also not. He's alive here, we've been here for years now, so...yeah.

[ he has no idea what he's saying at this point but the bubbling in his chest does make him feel like he has to keep talking. ]

Yeah, we've...talked about it. I don't know if it's a thing where he's just sort of accepted it or decided not to think about it or what, but... [ there's a pause, where steve takes a breath, before he's looking back to aloy again. his expression is suddenly a bit more still than it was before, a bit heavier, like steve is finally giving words to something he's had on his mind but hasn't been able to bring up to anyone else. ] He died to make sure we could do it, that we could stop Vecna and save everything, and if the plan didn't work then he died for nothing.

[Aloy seems to understand that Steve is sorting this out for himself, so she lets him do so, watching him with her arms folded and some concern. It sounds like a big deal, with a lot of implications, but she certainly understands the impulse to downplay it so as not to worry others.

Even if there's a lot about this that's worrying. She's not quite sure what to say--making others feel better isn't necessarily one of Aloy's best skills.]

I'm glad you get a second chance.

[If that's what this is, for them. And if Eddie is aware, and they're talking about it, then maybe this isn't her business.]

[ steve sits on that for another couple of moments. because...yeah. all of that was a lot more of his own shit than anything else. he feels a weird kind of weight added on instead of lifted, like he's the reason aloy is now going to have to carry this, or deal with this, or...something else ridiculous. ]

Yeah. [ is all he can really say to fill the space, before he's running his hands over his face. back through his hair.

well. aloy now knows...all of that. and steve feels somehow both weighted and weightless. it's not a great feeling. so steve, after another moment or so of letting that all sort of sit, lets out a long breath. ]

Sorry about...all of that. You needed help cleaning up, right? [ lets move on let's move on please let's move on ]

[She wishes she was better at this--that she could provide Steve the comfort that he clearly needs in this moment. It's what she might have wanted, at her most vulnerable, despite how hard she works to push most people away. Maybe the simple act of listening has helped.]

Don't apologize.

[He shouldn't apologize, just as she's not about to force him to finish putting her compound back in order, though maybe that's the kind of distraction he needs.]

I'm not gonna make you clean my yard.

[ he shakes his head at the 'don't apologize' if only because it's not... he realizes he says it more to fill space, to try and move on, and less because he actually feels sorry...

or rather, he does actually feel bad. for dumping, for freaking out, but there's nothing else he can really do about it now.

it's the next bit that has steve frowning. ] What? Nah, c'mon. Let me help. I'm not going to leave you to do it alone.

[She understands the need for a distraction, so even if she feels a little bad for making him do yard work after such a vulnerable conversation, she's not going to press the matter if Steve really wants to do this. Aloy will oblige him.]

Okay, you've twisted my arm.

[And she'll offer him a little smile.]

Some heavy lifting might be good for you, anyway.

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[OPEN] november/december catchall

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