[Alucard puts a hand to the hottest part of the device. There's a sudden scent of something burning, but when Alucard withdraws his hand, any harm has been done away with. Nothing happened in the first place, obviously.]

I think let's give it two or three more minutes. Maybe that can become a reliable metric between burns.

[Following Thancred, Alucard sighs at the thought of burning his clothing. It is a shame it needs to be done, but he's going to do it all the same. His eyes fix on the mushrooms and--

--oh this place really needs to be burnt to ashes.]

Really, every new little detail makes this worse. I'm almost impressed.