It's a succinct way of putting it, and so much so that for a second it catches Claude off-guard. The summary is an accurate one: for all that his mind wanders the paths of every possibility at any time no matter the situation, this particular one being blocked with no way to know what's on the other side is like a stubborn pebble lodged in his boot.
Not an irritant but a bother that's only grown the longer it's been there and with no way to remove it. Nothing to do, really, but consider it over and over and still never find any answers. That makes it all the more fitting that a question Claude had sensed was waiting to come up at some point is asked, and he offers an exhale which might be a humorless laugh if he'd put a little more effort into it.
"I wish I knew the answer. Some days it feels like it might be that if I knew what I'd planned would be successful, and others it's that I wish I'd made it home first. But all of it still comes at the cost of looking away from what's in front of me, and I've made that mistake too many times to wish to repeat it ever again." He pauses, since - that's not the complete picture either, and Claude's silent for a good few moments.
There's a further truth beneath his restlessness which can't be attributed to that alone. He studies Altaïr as he thinks, then makes a decision on yet another piece of honesty. "I think, if I were really going to be honest with myself, it's easier to look back and concentrate on what was left behind than to face the worry of losing what we have here."
no subject
Not an irritant but a bother that's only grown the longer it's been there and with no way to remove it. Nothing to do, really, but consider it over and over and still never find any answers. That makes it all the more fitting that a question Claude had sensed was waiting to come up at some point is asked, and he offers an exhale which might be a humorless laugh if he'd put a little more effort into it.
"I wish I knew the answer. Some days it feels like it might be that if I knew what I'd planned would be successful, and others it's that I wish I'd made it home first. But all of it still comes at the cost of looking away from what's in front of me, and I've made that mistake too many times to wish to repeat it ever again." He pauses, since - that's not the complete picture either, and Claude's silent for a good few moments.
There's a further truth beneath his restlessness which can't be attributed to that alone. He studies Altaïr as he thinks, then makes a decision on yet another piece of honesty. "I think, if I were really going to be honest with myself, it's easier to look back and concentrate on what was left behind than to face the worry of losing what we have here."