"I might've been less than honest with others, but I try not to lie to myself if I can avoid it." It's said as lightly as Claude can manage, as if it's something not serious and yet another reveal of sorts in those walls he'd crafted with dedication over time. Something he feels he probably doesn't have to tell Altaïr for the other man, perceptive as he is, for him to have already known this or perhaps even understand it.

"But you're right - being able to look back puts things into focus, doesn't it? Even most of what I'd thought seemed out of reach then feels like it could be now if I'd returned not long after coming here. It's not so simple now that so much time has gone by and with the hope everything stays stable for a bit longer, if it only could."

A wish he'll gladly put out into the world for the fates to hear considering he's not about to trust the gods here any more than the ones he'd grown up with. It remains a wish considering even his many machinations in the form of plans and anticipating outcomes can't prevent whatever might come to find them next here, and that gets a small sigh from him. "Living in fear of something, no matter what that something is, isn't how I've ever wanted to live my life. Even with worry, I want to find ways to protect what we all have here though I don't know what that might be yet. Or even if I or anyone else can do that when the odds aren't exactly in our favor there."