[ He thinks there's a discrepancy between their ideas of truly dangerous and risk factors. It's not just harm of others that has Kahlil worried, or even what it might do to Viktor should the worst occur and that comes to pass. If Viktor considers the risk to his own life worth this attempt, Kahlil would be a hypocrite to try to tell convince him otherwise.
As he's done in the past, he backs down from this part of the argument with a slow nod, the tension not quite reversing from his expression, but a quick flick of his gaze in Viktor's direction catches him looking down. He means it, he doesn't believe Viktor is careless. Desperate, yes - at least when they first began speaking about this. In the months that have passed maybe that desperation has tempered slightly.
This is normally the part of the conversation where he excuses himself, as though there's nothing more to be said, resetting this pattern they keep cycling through. The urge to do so now is very strong. The lives we have here, they're not real. Not until we can secure them, he doesn't know if he agrees that it's less real for that, but he can't find the exact words for why. His entire existence is a patchwork mess - this is as close to home as he might ever get. But his faith sometimes makes it difficult for him to imagine losing it all the way others do. He still believes he has some purpose to fulfil here, and he won't fall victim to disappearing the way so many others do until it is fulfilled. ]
I know.
[ What it's like to need to do something. To not be able to sit idle. He doesn't function without purpose either. After a minute he refills his emptied glass from the pitcher, not even half emptied yet. ]
I don't think I'd like you as much if you were someone who would back down so easily.
[ His own frustration hasn't been an indication of dislike. It has, unfortunately for Kahlil, been the opposite. ]
probably start to wrap
As he's done in the past, he backs down from this part of the argument with a slow nod, the tension not quite reversing from his expression, but a quick flick of his gaze in Viktor's direction catches him looking down. He means it, he doesn't believe Viktor is careless. Desperate, yes - at least when they first began speaking about this. In the months that have passed maybe that desperation has tempered slightly.
This is normally the part of the conversation where he excuses himself, as though there's nothing more to be said, resetting this pattern they keep cycling through. The urge to do so now is very strong. The lives we have here, they're not real. Not until we can secure them, he doesn't know if he agrees that it's less real for that, but he can't find the exact words for why. His entire existence is a patchwork mess - this is as close to home as he might ever get. But his faith sometimes makes it difficult for him to imagine losing it all the way others do. He still believes he has some purpose to fulfil here, and he won't fall victim to disappearing the way so many others do until it is fulfilled. ]
I know.
[ What it's like to need to do something. To not be able to sit idle. He doesn't function without purpose either. After a minute he refills his emptied glass from the pitcher, not even half emptied yet. ]
I don't think I'd like you as much if you were someone who would back down so easily.
[ His own frustration hasn't been an indication of dislike. It has, unfortunately for Kahlil, been the opposite. ]