[ No, he's not enjoyed lying. He never has. The only exception was that year with John. But that was just as much about fooling himself as it was lying. Kahlil wrings his hands, frowning to himself. ]

Why should I have known? It was part of a sacred duty. My entire life was to prepare for it. The men who gave me orders spoke for our god. I believed that. [ He had no reason to doubt. To do so would risk his own survival, and the freedom he'd hope to gain one day, for both himself and Rousma. He gives Viktor a long, hard look. ]

I didn't want him to suffer. But I would have done it. He wouldn't have been the first I had to kill.

[ He told Viktor in Nocwich that first time they'd met that he had done many awful things. At least that he never lied about. His mouth twists, brow furrowing. ]

Of course he didn't want this. But I failed, and something led him to the gate and Basawar... he survived nearly three decades there. He led an army, and destroyed nearly every trace of those men who spoke in his name.

[ There's that same fearful awe in his expression as he explains, and there isn't a hint of condemnation - which might seem hypocritical in light of past conversation. But this is the difference of a man trying to wield powers he shouldn't, and a god.

A pause as he studies Viktor. ]

John wasn't capable of hurting anyone. I wish he never had to.

[ But, irony of ironies, Kahlil can't actually change the past. Not on purpose. ]