Her eyes close at the tender kiss, and she hums in gratitude before letting out a shaky breath. Her free hand reaches out to squeeze his knee at the question, shaking her head. "It isn't that loyalty was a problem." She moves enough to be able to see Sylvain's face and meet his gaze.

"It's that he has no room for dividing his life between me, and the rest. I could go days, weeks without seeing him. Always out there, always restless and wanting to do more." When they were together, she never had any doubts he loved her in his own way, she still doesn't. But: "I didn't want to be the afterthought. The 'oh right' when he remembers I'm home." Her hand moves to push her hair back, sweeping it behind her ear.

"You might have the right idea up here after all." She feels as though she opened herself up too much, was too human about what she wanted.

"Now. To not feeling," she says just before finishing her glass. "May we also not think. At least for a little while."