He wraps his other hand atop Istredd's own, eyes locked together, unblinking, searching. Searching Istredd's mind, his face for any shift in expression, any tell.
"Tell me you'd choose this." This. That's the important distinction. Istredd's looking for signs that Lucifer isn't gone and he isn't entirely but it's not the same, "I'm not going to change for you."
That's what Michael never understood. It wasn't about changing who or what he was, not about changing for other people. It was about changing his own sense of self, so that he could accept who Time and the Cage made him into. He shifted in other ways, but in the end it was never about those.
"I'm not going to fit back into the shape you expect me to be. I am never going to do that."
He's not going to compromise himself for another person. Not when it's taken him this long to find some semblance of balance, some form of love for himself.
Istredd's always been the one to see him--his full self, his total-eclipsing darkness. But it's like watching a family movie. Looking from the outside in. Not experiencing it first-hand, not when Lucifer was in absolute control of himself.
Not when this is who he is, down to his ethereal bones. The construct of The Devil in everyone's nightmares. The unholy creature that pulled Hell together out of his anger and his desire to tarnish everyone his Father created as replacements to fill in a hole because Lucifer wasn't good enough anymore.
It's been over a century since Lucifer tried to wedge a brick between them and break their relationship. Over a century since Lucifer needed to self-destruct. But Istredd should have pushed him through the portal and left him alone. Faced with Lucifer settling into his Full Power+, that was the correct option. They're just in the same song and dance, the same game, all over again. Only now it's Last Call.
No more chances.
This is the King of Lies looking for true acceptance for what he is and cannot stomach a lie despite how many corridors to emotions have automatically been shutoff in his mind. They're on the precipice. Lucifer will walk away, kill Istredd as a courtesy, no question, if he senses any waver, any doubt, that Istredd can't keep going with Lucifer as he is.
This may've started as what Lucifer did, what damage they left behind in Hayle, what danger he could be for the Nether--and Lucifer knows that will all come back around to the forefront if Istredd is still alive after.
But in this breath of instance it's about 'don't go where I can't reach you.'
Lucifer chose power, tried for freedom. He hasn't let Istredd go, as blurry as it is for either of them to see. Istredd would already be dead if he hadn't, and simply holding on isn't enough. But Istredd didn't choose this either, not really, not yet. Istredd didn't know what his choice actually meant and now he's front and center with it.
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"Tell me you'd choose this." This. That's the important distinction. Istredd's looking for signs that Lucifer isn't gone and he isn't entirely but it's not the same, "I'm not going to change for you."
That's what Michael never understood. It wasn't about changing who or what he was, not about changing for other people. It was about changing his own sense of self, so that he could accept who Time and the Cage made him into. He shifted in other ways, but in the end it was never about those.
"I'm not going to fit back into the shape you expect me to be. I am never going to do that."
He's not going to compromise himself for another person. Not when it's taken him this long to find some semblance of balance, some form of love for himself.
Istredd's always been the one to see him--his full self, his total-eclipsing darkness. But it's like watching a family movie. Looking from the outside in. Not experiencing it first-hand, not when Lucifer was in absolute control of himself.
Not when this is who he is, down to his ethereal bones. The construct of The Devil in everyone's nightmares. The unholy creature that pulled Hell together out of his anger and his desire to tarnish everyone his Father created as replacements to fill in a hole because Lucifer wasn't good enough anymore.
It's been over a century since Lucifer tried to wedge a brick between them and break their relationship. Over a century since Lucifer needed to self-destruct. But Istredd should have pushed him through the portal and left him alone. Faced with Lucifer settling into his Full Power+, that was the correct option. They're just in the same song and dance, the same game, all over again. Only now it's Last Call.
No more chances.
This is the King of Lies looking for true acceptance for what he is and cannot stomach a lie despite how many corridors to emotions have automatically been shutoff in his mind. They're on the precipice. Lucifer will walk away, kill Istredd as a courtesy, no question, if he senses any waver, any doubt, that Istredd can't keep going with Lucifer as he is.
This may've started as what Lucifer did, what damage they left behind in Hayle, what danger he could be for the Nether--and Lucifer knows that will all come back around to the forefront if Istredd is still alive after.
But in this breath of instance it's about 'don't go where I can't reach you.'
Lucifer chose power, tried for freedom. He hasn't let Istredd go, as blurry as it is for either of them to see. Istredd would already be dead if he hadn't, and simply holding on isn't enough. But Istredd didn't choose this either, not really, not yet. Istredd didn't know what his choice actually meant and now he's front and center with it.
What now, Istredd?