He was shooting for sarcastic, but the words ring too true to his liking. It's just reflex, a habitual smoke screen that Jesper can easily see through. There are no wall Mara can raise - unaware, as he usually is, of himself doing it - that Jesper cannot see through. They've been together too long for that.
There's a lot that he wants. Mara's desires are endless, his hunger insatiable. There can never be any amount of time, attention, pleasure, that will be enough for him. There never was. He was always like this. It doesn't make any of it lacking, it makes every second count. To him, simply being in Jesper's presence brings immense joy. Jesper is like a sun, he outshines everything and everyone else, silencing even Mara's overactive mind by gently coaxing his attention outwards, to him, and keeping it there. Away from the urge to drown this discomforting worry in the sensations of the body.
"It;s just a feeling. Like I'm missing something. Like I should be doing something, be somewhere, I just don't know what and where. Whenever I try to concentrate on what it means, it eludes me. I simply cannot grasp a single thread of it."
That's the true reason he came here. Not to marvel at Jesper's beast, though it is marvelous, but to check if he hasn't produced one of his own by this struggle. So far, he hasn't found any, but the ease lingers.
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He was shooting for sarcastic, but the words ring too true to his liking. It's just reflex, a habitual smoke screen that Jesper can easily see through. There are no wall Mara can raise - unaware, as he usually is, of himself doing it - that Jesper cannot see through. They've been together too long for that.
There's a lot that he wants. Mara's desires are endless, his hunger insatiable. There can never be any amount of time, attention, pleasure, that will be enough for him. There never was. He was always like this. It doesn't make any of it lacking, it makes every second count. To him, simply being in Jesper's presence brings immense joy. Jesper is like a sun, he outshines everything and everyone else, silencing even Mara's overactive mind by gently coaxing his attention outwards, to him, and keeping it there. Away from the urge to drown this discomforting worry in the sensations of the body.
"It;s just a feeling. Like I'm missing something. Like I should be doing something, be somewhere, I just don't know what and where. Whenever I try to concentrate on what it means, it eludes me. I simply cannot grasp a single thread of it."
That's the true reason he came here. Not to marvel at Jesper's beast, though it is marvelous, but to check if he hasn't produced one of his own by this struggle.
So far, he hasn't found any, but the ease lingers.